simple complicated me

2009-05-27T02:16:00.003+08:00

this is a problem between me and him. why do you have to bother?

i dun need you poking yr nose in all of our issues. i dun need u telling us how to do this, how to do that, how to handle our money, how to discipline my children blah blah blah...

ive tried working things out with you. it's not like i havent. ive tried building smth decent btwn the both of us.

so the last thing i need you doing is spoiling all that. cuz then our lives will be horrible for as long as im with him. and weirdly put, as long as ure with him.

even my parents dun bother about my rships and how i handle certain things... because they KNOW it's NOT FOR THEM TO CONTROL...

so please...

dun irritate me any further...

this is SO NOT THE FIRST TIME ure doing this...

i wanna respect you... i wanna love you... i wanna care for you... i wanna be able to share things with you... i wanna be able to live happily and comfortably with you...

so please... let's not keep doing this....

2009-04-23T21:00:00.002+08:00

secondary school SYF has finally ended... my biggest congrats to all the choirs... for all those that i watched, i thoroughly enjoyed your performances... really i did... im sure all of you are winners in one way or another... who cares about the award? so what if u din get the award u expected? im pretty darn sure that along the way, along the journey which u travelled with your conductor and friends, you learnt alot and went through something that nobody else ever would understand... i believe in the journey... not the result... and i believe that every journey is worth the walk...

my biggest congrats to Miss Lim!!!! seeing u conducting and talking to you again at SYF really brought back a lot of memories for me... one of the greatest of my life... hearing songs that i sang way back in TKGS really warmed my heart... thank you miss lim for inspiring me in choral music... i am here where i am because of you... i am where i am because i love what you've taught me... and if i were given another chance... i'd certainly want to sing under you again... i really do... and yes... of cuz... CONGRATS on the clean sweep of honours... u did it again!!!! hahaha! yup... and of cuz to all the other conductors... i think everybody did a good job... i really enjoyed all the performances i went for... seeing secondary school kids singing on stage, smiling, moving, performing their steps in perfection... it really was awesome...

i want to start singing again... i want to spread this passion and joy of singing to pple arnd me...

2009-04-23T20:45:00.004+08:00

i really dun like studying for exams... it's the most dreadful thing to do...

it's even worse for me this sem cuz i know that after exams it just means i gotta start planning to work... or start planning for my future...

the previous sems at least i could tell myself that once it's over i can just relax until bidding for modules start... or until school next sem starts...

but no... not this time...

i really think im gonna miss studyin... especially my friends... jac... russ... yu heng... des... jeremy... sharon... janice... alina... gim... although he's graduating with me too... i really will miss the whole bunch of you guys... having lunches together... just being in school... and most recently being in the library with jac and sharon... haiz...

i dun wanna graduate yet... but i cant... i have to...

i really hate studying... and i hate not having school to go for anymore... i love my friends in NUS... argh... im gonna miss them so much...

ure probably gonna see me hanging arnd in NUS next sem even though im no longer studying there... ill go back and meet them for lunches and all... i must i must i must...

but in the meantime... i need to study and i hate it... all because i dont want school to end...

2009-04-18T00:03:00.002+08:00

there was a time when i'd see emails from "Nus Career Centre".... or like emails with the heading "For graduating students - job opportunities"... and i'd just delete them without even taking a look at the content...

well... now... i cant do that anymore... i find myself more inclined to opening these emails and really looking thru them seriously....

yup... it's scary but true for me... ive gotta start job-hunting...

and im so not looking forward to it...

i hope some kind post-grad course will just accept me... :)

2009-03-10T11:08:00.002+08:00

i currently feel like the most irritated person around...

damn damn irritated... and i dunno what to do to make myself feel better...

argh...

2009-03-03T16:17:00.002+08:00

it's been raining the whole night and the whole day... so it's really awesome to be lying in bed like a pig... and how fantastic that i was given that chance by this big horrible bad headache that crept into my head this morning... so i ended up missing school... and now im here... lying in my bed resting...

i just realised how afraid i am to miss calls... like just now when my phone wasnt with me for one minute... and i had a miss call... i freaked out... it belonged to a private number so i called my dad, whose number registers as private, and asked if he called... when he said he din... i freaked out even more... haha! u see... to me, a missed call means a missed opportunity... i know it sounds kinda stupid... but i always feel like after being VP of chorale... my phone has to be with me and answered to 24 hours every day... haha! what if someone wants smth big for chorale and called... and i didnt pick up... den we wld have missed it... haha! yup... some pple just call this OCD... :(

but anyhow, that private number called again 2 minutes later and it turned out to be jude... haha! so yea... u see... it IS chorale-related... i wasnt thinking too much... haha! so he said that he's boarding the plane in 5 mins... and that he will be in obama-land for 1 week... of cuz adding that he has ald instructed his officer to post us the dvd and photos... haha! that was the impt part... i hope it reaches us soon... :)

si ying darling asked me to write a message from the VP for the newsletter... and so i thought about it for awhile and just wrote smth short... but writing it made me really really really miss korea even more... i really miss the way everybody was just together... i miss the meals we had together all the time... i miss how it was just US, VICTORIA CHORALE, and nobody else... i miss how we were happy together... i miss how we sang together... i miss how we laughed and played on the bus... i miss how we ate and drank on the last night... i miss how we looked after each other... i miss how we woke up and slept together... i miss everything... i really miss korea... it's been too long a time since i had a trip with any choir... germany was my last trip... and it was awesome... now korea's my last trip and it is as awesome... haiz... as im writing this i feel this weird feeling in my heart and it's kinda creeping up on my back... im not exaggerating... i dunno if anybody feels the same way i feel about korea and chorale... but i dun care... i just feel this way...

maybe it's the rain and the post headache syndrome... but oh wells... my one week break's ending... it wasnt so much of a break for me... but yup... back to school tmr... it's the 2nd half of the semester... my last semester... and yes... i still have no idea what to do yet... :p

2009-03-01T23:04:00.003+08:00

i decided to ask a question slightly before an afternoon nap...

me: how would you create an entire world on your own? meaning you were God and can re-create the whole human system and planet Earth?
he: everybody will live for 200 years, and at a certain point in time they wld stop growin old... i wld be a king and everybody else would be peasants...
me: then how about me? where would i be if you were the king?
he: you... you be the girl who put the fireworks in your face one lor...

apparently he said he was ald half-dreaming by then... :)

2009-02-26T23:50:00.002+08:00

today was fun... really fun... and i seriously have you dudes to thank for it... asik, ben, jianhao, nicholas... and of cuz marcus... i think i havent done smth liddat since what? JC days? yea... possibly... hanging with choir buddies... reading... studying... talking cock... seriously... really very very very fun today...

of cuz what made it even more fun were the classic-asik moments... the ben-cool-funky-sketching moments... the hopeless-nicholas-elvis-presley-sketching moments... the jianhao-horrible-terrible-disgusting-sketching moments... the all-the-dudes-falsettoing moments... the slumdog-millionaire-second-time-watching moments... all that and more... just everything... i really had fun... we shld do it again...

so what was supposed to be a Johor day trip became a Cathay hang day... :D so our trip to Penang in July HAS TO MATERIALISE!!!!!!! shopping, good food, good company... ahahaha! i honestly cant wait... so chorale darlings... keep the first week of July free ok... Penang here we come...

honestly i feel really bad about Mr Jude Oh... ive missed all his 5 calls in the last 3 days... but hey... it's really not intentional... just that he always calls when my phone's not by my side or when it's really inconvenient to pick up... i hope he doesnt think im being rude or smth... really hope not... but at least i got to apologise today when he called jianhao after miss-calling me twice... im not sure if he understood my sorry's and explanations though... sometimes i dun even know if he understands anything im saying over the phone... i think i really want to learn Korean soon... it's a cool language... hahaha! after all... i may actually be more successful in Korea than i am here... HAHAHAHA!

ive got an exco, musico meetin tmr early at 10am... hopefully it turns out as effective and smooth-sailing as exco meeting that day... which reminds me... ive got lotsa stuff to photocopy for the meeting tmr and i havent... shit... what time does the market photocopy shop open manz... i guess it means an earlier morning for me tmr...

okay... goodnight... im really tired... i slept like 3 hours last night... 6am to 9am... today extremely long day... which was unproductive for my studying... but terribly productive for my fun therapy...

let's do this hang and study thingy more often... :D

2009-02-25T23:22:00.002+08:00

so i've been told that people do read my blog... haha! honestly, that's some news to me. it's something i least expected... but yes... my blog has been dead for the most part of the last year and a half... what to do? busy me... (haha!)

and so im really glad it's the mid sem break now... u see for me it really is a break... ive got no pressing projects to hand in the minute school starts... and ive got no tests after the break... i had all my tests and quizzes last week... i love the english dept in NUS... im sure the tutors all believe that a break is a break... at least english pple are sane pple... haha! and yes... i do need this break... taking 6 modules a semester is crazyyyyyy... absolutely over the top... i'd like to believe im coping well... and i think i don't feel otherwise... yet... at least... and i certainly hope that feeling doesnt come to me... i really need to do well this sem... it's after all my last sem... cant believe im graduating... and yup... ive got no plans yet... no plans... :) i think ill just be what i've wanted to be since JC days... my aspiration since then was to be a professional slacker... and so a professional slacker i shall be... at least maybe for 2 months or so? i do need a a break man... everybody needs a break...

so yup... ive decided to continue with my blog... i really hope i can keep up with it... heh... cuz when it comes to this thing... im terribly ill-disciplined... :(

okay... so GOODBYE adrian... i really had fun this time u came back... i think ive gotten to know you better and i really appreciate that... and yes andri... i will continue to aim to try all that food you wrote on my foolscap... :)

i feel horrible actually... my whole nose if stuffed up... i cant even breate... anybody tries to kidnap me now and gag me... will probably find me dead at the back of the van... i've been falling in and out of temperature... really bad... throat burns like crazy... think ive got a bad infection... i hope i get well by friday...

oh and have i said that i really hate mood swings... be them on me or on others... i just hate mood swings... i hate mood swings on me cuz they piss pple off... and once i piss pple off... they tend to piss me off in return... haha! but i especially hate mood swings on pple arnd me... and i think the closest pple to me have chosen yesterday and today to swing on me... and i absolutely hate it... it's a horrible vicious cycle... one person in a bad mood puts everybody else around him/her in a bad mood... i can understand if you're in a bad mood... and you know it... and u make an attempt to either get out of it... or if that's really impossible then at least make an attempt to not let it affect the pple arnd you... so a conscious bad-mooder is fine. but hey... an unconscious bad-mooder is an absolute stinkee... they just bomb their weight arnd and expect everybody to succumb to whatever they're upset with... and i hate it... i really hate it alot... and it's very very very tiring trying to placate a bad-mooder... sometimes i just wish i could put him/her back on the bed and force him/her to sleep and wake up on the right side...

okay... im ranting like a i-dunno-what... what a "first" post after a long break... but oh wells... sick girl gonna rest now... :)

and yes... im gonna shout it out... I LOVE CHORALE, EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU... ********muacks********

2009-01-25T18:45:00.000+08:00

a happy family

2009-01-25T18:23:00.002+08:00

my grandmother just gave me a piece of gold bracelet... i'm happy... yet sad... she keeps insisting that she wants to give it to us already cuz she feels weak and thinks she might go soon... she wants to give it to us when she's still sane... i just wish i had more time to show her i love her...

2009-01-25T15:49:00.003+08:00

and so i just had my reunion lunch... pretty yummy the food this time... simply because there was a dish with potatoes... haha! so yup... i obviously chose the seat right in front of that dish. but reunion was fun.

now it's back to the monotony and mundane afternoon... boringness... thank god ive got joey, chandler, ross, rachel, monica and pheobe to accompany me... after this post ill probably go knock on their door to entertain me... :D i love FRIENDS...

ive got my ang-pao's from my ah gong and ah ma ald... somehow feel a little sad that i only see them once a year... and i guess that's why we decided to stay here in Kuala Pilah with them for a longer time this year... so whilst im complaining about it being boring here... i do understand that ive gotta be nice... hahaha

but it's not that boring really... ive been practising and mugging my scores like mad here... listening to jj's advice and not lose the singing stamina... keep practising... and it's amazing... cuz i cant sing in the house else my grandparents will just hop up from their seats... so ive been singing in the garden... under the durian tree... and it's fun... singing out loud in the garden is pretty therepeutic...

ive also been doin my part and stayin away as much as i can from the heaty goodies... protectin my throat with lots of herbal tea also... haha! i miss singing... i totally am missing practice... haiz... hope u guys back there are doing great with prac...

okok... guess ill go check on Central Perk now... :)

2009-01-24T14:49:00.007+08:00

alright... i think ive been ignoring this blog for the longest time... cuz i think ive been too lazy and far too busy... but now that im doing absolutely NOTHING here in the small little town of Kuala Pilah... i think i shall just start blogging now... haha! let me do a little introduction of Kuala Pilah here... :D

this below... is the coolest place in Kuala Pilah... it's called "The Square".

it's the place my parents grew up "hanging" at... it's the orchard road of singapore.

here they serve coffee in this very peculiar yet vaguely familiar way... :)

i like this picture... i was just snapping about and i saw this man at the coffee shop table. and honestly im very amused at how they arrange the drink bottles on the table... pay as u drink... heh

yup... i look horrible here... this is how i look after a 7 hour drive to Kuala Pilah... we were stuck at the causeway for 2 hours plus... what a horrible jam... havent been in a jam in singapore for the longest time... u see pple coming down from their cars and walking to the customs just to pee... really... chinese new year brings out best of life...

and so u see... boredom in Kuala Pilah... it really is a bad town to spend 2 whole days and 2 nights in... so this is how ive spent my time here so far..

eating homegrown durian... :D

plucking durians from the durian tree in my grandparents' home

okay... this is a bad photo... cuz it's actually a video... :) yup. that's me... the small orange speck on a motorbike... im learning to ride the motorbike well... using my ber che's bike... fun!

highlight of the day: bullying the bro... :) while he was sleeping we put nuts in his mouth and disturbed him...

so next on the activity list is... fishing... we just went to buy live frogs for bait:

yup... so Kuala Pilah is boring in its own special way...

2008-08-19T22:07:00.002+08:00

you know how much i hate you? yes... a lot...

ure just one selfish person who dont think about anything and anybody else except yourself...

2008-07-29T11:37:00.002+08:00

im quite excited for our upcoming concert... heh! hope it will all turn out good... :) and also... KOREA!!! it's now confirmed... so i really cant wait... just hope that NAC endorsement turns out ok and my baby can come along with us...

oh wells... i finally got my first tuition pay today... it's fulfilling to know that my hard work has paid off... cuz im really putting in a lot of effort to make sure sean's doing okay... i really hope he'll do well this coming CA2...

other than teaching tuition... settling chorale stuff... and practising for concert, ive been doing nothing much really... manz... school's starting soon again. im gonna try for 6 modules this sem... gotta work really very hard...

okay... random postings again... shall post again when i have more (or even smth interesting) to blog about...

2008-07-29T11:32:00.001+08:00

do come support me and my friends in victoria chorale... :) can get tickets through me... for those who know my buzz can text me... or else can always leave a tag...

2008-07-02T01:09:00.004+08:00

------- an early start with Sean -------

yup yup... woke up a good 8.30am in preparation for my first morning of tuition with Mr Sean Tan... cute little P1 boy... am tutoring him english and math... twice a week... hope tuition just keeps getting better... i think he's a little dyslexic... my guess... my little own diagnosis... will just keep sitting in with him to see how... today's first english session went well... i gave him a hello panda box after tuition... hopefully he responds well to that... haha! but he's really a cute one that one... u know how sometimes the slip of the tongue makes me go "not like that darling"... and dear little Sean replies with "what?! im not your darling u know??" haha! and then when tuition was ending he went off to the toilet for a really long time... and came back to the table telling me that he's sorry but can smell "my poo poo from here" yup... those exact words... haha! a little mischievous but i hope he'll get the hang of it...

------- just beside the sports club -------

and Sean's house is at simei... just opposite the sports club... hmmm... im thinking of popping by the sports club and make my membership worth the money after tuition every tuesdays and fridays... just a little thought... i hope the lazybones dun get the better of me... heh!

------- of cobras and me -------

walking back from the MRT station today was pure torture... after my daddy told me about the 5-foot long black cobra he saw that day... manz i tell you... im totally freaked out... walking there just gives me the shivers... even my own hair tickling my neck or face scares me... haha! my dad tried to use a log and throw it at the cobra that day when he saw it... but it was too far away into the "almost-forest" and it just kept attacking the log... that's when the big cobra neck thingy appeared and my dad confirmed it to be a cobra... it being black... what else can it be? so yup... it's not a python we're talking about here... a cobra manz! argh... i hate thinking about it... will avoid walking arnd grassy areas as far as i can... god bless the pple walking there all the time... incl my b-lee darling...

------- post ST review -------

yup... spent the whole afternoon working out the list for Mel (head-of-dept, SGH Speech Therapy) to write me a testimonial... was supposed to write up a list of things ive learnt and seen during my internship there... the list was so long... just made me realise that the past month was totally eventful for me... ive learnt so so many things... and i have all the STs at SGH to thank for that... it was great... i must say i learnt alot from Mr Brian So... he was a great mentor... anyways i think i shld contact margaret (another ST) for dinner soon... maybe this saturday for lunch or smth? since my monster will be in camp for duty? will see how...

------- night with the hulk -------

watched the incredible hulk just now... at tampines... nice show... handsome hulk man... one of those guys u find ugly initially but then overtime realise how handsome he is... i think it's cuz of the character he plays and the charisma he exhibits... but still... goodlooking... haha! of cuz when i said he was handsome b-lee's face cringed and contorted beyond recognition... funny... well, he felt liv tyler was too pretty for him i suppose... haha! but i had fun tonight... we havent gone out in a long long time... it's been slacking at home for both of us for weeks manz... i think today's the first time we've gone out in like 3 weeks? gosh... such bummers...

------- duties and more duties -------

and im so not looking forward to the huge pile of duties marked out on my calender for b-lee... hate it when it all comes in a chunk like that... and esp since he doesnt tell me beforehand... stupid monster... haiz... hope this week doesnt become too draggy and bothersome cuz of the duties... it always creates a problem for us... i just hope it works out all fine this week...

------- added to my shopping list -------

i wanna buy an ABBA cd... was playing my this afternoon and realised that it's spoilt... so damn sad... haiz... and i wanna get the forrest gump OST... went to the CD shop today and it din have both of them... so we din get anything today... even popped by citigems to check if my ring was ready... but it wasnt... kinda cant wait to collect it :D heh... oh yes we did some shopping... at b's favourite shop NTUC!!! haha... okok... i must admit i enjoy it too... bought stuff to refill his little snack box i prepared for him in camp... now he understands that filling up that snack box isnt cheap... :P

------- still very much -------

im still very much in love with you... that's all i wanna say... think the level's different now... just give me some time to get used to it...

2008-06-30T16:13:00.002+08:00

my hols are back again...

my one month internship has ended... very sad... i love the pple at the dept... they're all really great pple... ive learnt alot from them... and yup... i think becoming a speech therapist is smth i want to do...

my birthday came and went... thanks to all the pple who wished me... who helped organise my surprise party... who came for the party from all over singapore... i really appreciate each and everyone of you... all the beautiful gifts i got...

special thanks to my family and to my one and only marcus b-lee... u guys have been great...

so today has been a boring day... there's female practice tonight... i kinda cant wait for it... dunno why... hope it goes well...

i bought a malay and cantonese book to learn phrases from... haha! so hopefully i will continue working on it... yup.

i hope i will blog more often also... cuz now that im so much more free it'd be easier... the past whole month has been nothin but a great busy but awesome month...

oh yes... adrian's back... yay! let's hope we can all meet up soon again...

2008-05-17T23:49:00.002+08:00

try (verb) - to make an attempt or effort; strive

i think giving a try at smth is difficult... the fact that you have to try doing it and that it isn't part of your natural self and stature means it is difficult...

and in trying you need some sort of inspiration, reward, motivation... whatever you want to call it... you need to know that your trying is for something... and that you're not trying in vain...

the question is this: does trying and failing mean you haven't tried? or does trying only work when you've succeeded?

why then do some pple say "you haven't tried hard enough"... or "if you tried it wouldn't be this way" trying and succeeding i believe are 2 separate entities altogether...

when a person tries you have to give credit to the person for trying... whether or not he/she succeeds at the end...

like a child... when the child says things like "i sleeped yesterday" or "i slepted yesterday"... you have to give the child credit and appreciation for having acquired the concept behind past tense... doesnt mean that he/she didnt come up with the right word means he/she deserves no applaud or recognition...

there's smth about trying that's very impt too... there's a limit to it... a person can only try this hard... this much... at some point in the trying proccess the person's bound to feel tired, weak and unmotivated... especially when the reward isnt clear... and appreciation's zilch...

i think im rambling crap... i need some sleep...

2008-05-17T04:35:00.002+08:00

i think the worst feeling in the world is the feeling of inferiority... and im sure many of us have experienced it before in some way or another... many of us in fact are experiencing it now...

an artist whose paintings just never make the front of any gallery...
a singer who just never gets a solo part...
a diligent student who somehow pales in comparison to the genius in the class...
a passionate scientist who is always a little later in finding out that breakthrough result...
a girl who has never been loved by her lover as much as he loved his ex.

inferiority stinks... knowing that somehow you're just never good enough... sometimes it isnt even a case of not being good enough... but just that consequences somehow put you in that position where you feel inferior... and deep inside your heart you just wish that one day you'll stand up there and show the world your presence...

that someday your painting will shake the world...
that sometime you will create your own solo album...
that somehow you will appear in the headlines as the top A-Level student maybe...
that someyear you will win the nobel prize...
that finally he will love you as much as he did love her.

inferiority can kill a person.... obviously not literally... but inferiority is sharp enough to slice a person's soul up and disfigure it beyond recognition... but that's when it's already too late...

inferiorty can mean insomnia... long and dreadful nights of tossing and turning... trying to get to sleep but somehow finding it impossible...

inferiority can mean a loss of appetite... inferiority can lead to anorexia and boulemia...

an inferior person always understands a fellow inferior...

an inferior person will always find herself staring into space and wondering -

JUST WHEN IT WILL BE MY TURN?

2008-05-14T00:03:00.003+08:00

WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!!!

again...

so much to say... but so hard to put in words... i just simply want to say

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU MAN U...

a deserving win... i love you team...

2008-05-01T02:23:00.006+08:00

manchester united

you have done me so damn proud... it was fantastic play there... a total winner from Scholes... i know you could do it Mr Scholesy... im so damn proud of you...

im so damn proud of every single one of you who fought barce down... you guys were just simply awesome... maybe except that Mr Luis Nani, uve got to learn to read the game and pass the ball... but anyhow, im sure ferguson will already tell u that... u just need time to mature as a player...

so it boils down to later in 15 minutes time... the game between chelsea and liverpool is gonna start... and whoever wins will join Man U in moscow to play in the CHAMPS LEAGUE FINALS!!!!!!!! oh manz... this is seriously orgasmic... the feeling is just... oh my god... seriously...

and so my red devils left me with a good rest, a good studying afternoon and ive finally finished my first paper - historical variation... was alright... i hate talking about papers after exams... im the sort to just leave it once it's done... cuz nothin i say or discuss will change anythin... except possibly make me feel stupider or in doubt... haha!

and so... today i watched Nim's Island... it was pretty good... ending not so fantastic... but i loved the concept... the whole imaginary figure in a writer's mind... the whole out-coming of a character just to help someone she doesnt even know... i think it's not bad a show... quite worth the watch... but not quite so worth the 20 dollars spent on the tickets today... :( it being the night before a public hol... bah!

and so marcus' cousin and grandma are done from penang... and we met them for dinner at east coast last night... i miss them both so much... his grandma really dotes on me alot... she makes simple comments to me in her penang hokkien that can really make my day... and she's so funny... i cant wait to bring lay hoon (that's his cousin's name) out... i hate my exams now... argh... and then in awhile, another 2 of his cousins are coming down... den we'll bring them all 3 to vivocity and many other places to eat!!! haha! and then next month... Nat Nat and mel are coming down too... 2 of his really cute younger cousins... i love those 2 exceptionally alot alot alot... it's like we can spend the whole day just acting stupid in front of my camera, filming videos of ourselves and just drawing pictures on papers... i love being with kids... esp kids like them... i really cant wait for them to come...

it's been quite good recently... the attitude change here... i just hope it keeps up...

okok... enough of bumming around... time to study for social variation and go watch chelsea battle liverpool for the champs league finals... im sure both of them are dying to play man-u...

we're fabulous!

2008-04-30T00:32:00.001+08:00

A duck walks into a store...
"Do u have any gwapes?"
"No"
"Do u have any gwapes?"
"No!"
"Do u have any gwapes?"
"NO!!! Ask that one more time and ill nail your beak together!"
"Do u have any nailsss?"
"NO!!!"
"Do u have any gwapes?"

i rmbr posting this on my blog before... i enjoyed it so much when my bro told it to me... and i still enjoy it a lot... it's really cute... haha!

2008-04-30T00:25:00.002+08:00

this is so wrong...

i have a historical variation tomorrow at 5pm and here i am worrying about man u more than for my paper tomorrow...

im not quite so prepared for tomorrow's paper... i hate this module the most out of all the modules i did this sem... it's so... historical... i mean it's really interesting to know how english came about and the many changes etc... how english is that BASTARD language we all know it to be... but an exam on it would really stink...

i hope this sem's exams will pull up my cap...

but at the rate at which im studying... nah... i dun think so...

2008-04-30T00:16:00.002+08:00

and so in less than 3 hours, man u will be hosting barce... and this match will determine who will get thru to the next round of the champs league qualifiers...

man u is suffering from a bit of an injury problem... vidic has a split lip... and he's one of the best and most vital (and a very handsome) center-back for the team... i hope he'll be ok... i really like him... rooney is also suffering from a hip injury... i admire that bear for his sacrifices... he scored a goal against chelsea just last week and thus worsened his injury... he's the sort that will sacrifice for a team... and that is precisely the attitude of a world-class striker...

not quite so keen on a few of the midfielders though... i think we dun have a competent enough buncha boys out there in the midfield... nani - he still lacks experience and still wants to score goals himself, thus losing many great chances for the team... scholes - i love this guy, i really do, but he's been abit unstable recently... sometimes im not sure if he forgets that he isnt in the opponent's team... always losing possession that dude... being unstable is unacceptable at this point of the league race and champs league kickouts...

i just hope man u wins barce tonight... it's really impt we do... it'd be fantastic if we can get a double... i'd scream for joy...

----------------------------------

on a separate note, ive been feeling very weird... like something's wrong with my life...

can somebody tell me what it is?

just come forward, be honest, and tell me what's wrong...

2008-04-29T14:48:00.003+08:00

i hate exams... i really do... it's so tiring to be studying for exams... especially with 4 english mods... it's like all of them are almost similar i get so damn confused... i really cant wait for it to end...

but exams ending means less time spent together i assume... more computer time... gettin a com etc... you tell me... what exactly is there to look forward to after my exams? a new computer... that's what? please...

dun give excuses on birthdays etc... the minute it comes it just means the birthday crash... if u cant understand that... then u dun know me well enought... but i know i cant stop you... but i cant bring myself to support you either...

somebody tell me... why is it so hard to be happy for someone when it means making you really sad and really heartbroken? haiz... this stinks...

and my bloody mouse konked out on me... my little orange mouse blasted itself on me... i think it's cuz it dropped and knocked against stuff abit too often maybe? i dunno... but i think i need to go and get a new mouse...

and my lappie is also starting to malfunction... weird stuff happening... random switching on and off... sudden black screens that dun respond to any shit... abrupt popping up of error messages i dun understand... haiz... it always happens liddat... esp when there's no control over the surfing you do...

after my exams ive only got a short 3 week break before i start my internship... yup i am glad i got it... but of cuz taking up my whole june and a daily working affair is smth i cant seem to smile about... esp now when all i want is just a break from exams... manz... internship means shopping for new adult-ish clothes to wear for that whole month... thank god my darling parents are sponsoring me 500bucks for this shopping thing... and im sure every gal will be esctatic over shopping for new clothes with money from parents!!! but not me... i dun quite like shopping... shopping makes me tired... im always looking for a place to sit after the first 45 mins...

so yup... i dun quite know what im looking forward to at the end of exams... i think nothing much...

im a person who kinda hates change... i dun think it's because i cant handle change... im sure if im put into it i can... but i like being comfortable... it's like friends... when u find yr comfortable bunch u just stay there... why bother changing and finding new hang-out buddies?

there's going to be so much change for me and im so not looking forward to it...

and YOU're not helping either...

2008-04-26T17:07:00.002+08:00

my boyfriend asked me this question after practice today:

how come when u sing like so soft liddat? like so weak? like the resonance (if any) not healthy kind one?

well, my answer - "i really dunno?"

when what i really wanted to answer was - "because i am a weak singer... i stopped learning anything about singing techniques since i was 17 when i entered VJChoir... my singing started to decline from then on... and because of that now i dunno how to sing at all although i like singing..."

so u see... how am i suppose to answer your question there?

maybe u shld offer positive suggestions to improve instead of asking a "how come liddat" question... because that really left me at a loss for words and yet a lot of things running through my head...

2008-04-23T11:44:00.005+08:00

an open leader is a good leader.

what good is a leader if he/she is not open to opinions and comments? but instead take these opinions personally? shldnt a leader of an organisation be glad that its members are even bothered enough to give comments and opinions... rather than be led by the nose?

what's worse is when a leader takes these comments, shares them among his/her group of friends and talk/laugh/joke about it... or worse criticise and mock it...

to be a good leader, one needs to be the best servant.

it may be the most difficult thing, being a leader... u do yr best to put smth together... and then pple come along and make comments about it... but hey... that's precisely IN the job-scope when u take up a leadership role... if not do you think it's THAT easy to be a good leader? why else are there millions of "Be a star leader" or "Lead your team to success" books all around... and when i flip through them, one of the primary issues is this of maturity and openess... professionalism esp... not take an opinion that has tread on yr toes and bring it around for laughing gas production...

we all know it's not easy... but you have to at least TRY... you cant just do things so flippantly... the consequences are very bad... not only for you, not only for the person giving the opinion, but also for the whole team... the whole organisation fails along with your inappropriate handling...

im not saying im the best leader... dun get me wrong... please... but i've just been under enough of leaders and in enough of organisations to be able to post about this...

being a leader is shit tough... my kudos to all those out there who have led well and are leading well... but to all those who know u havent been a nice-or-good of a leader... i hope you will keep trying... because the consequences are painful... for the organisation and the pple in it...

dun let the passion die because of such politics please...

2008-04-23T00:14:00.002+08:00

i know im not studying hard enough... but i cant seem to get myself to focused and down to work... haiz... i dunno what the hell is wrong with me...

anyway... all in the nature of having fun still while a week away from them papers... i went to watch The Other Boleyn Girl... very nice show i must say... kinda captures the old english culture very well... heh... loved it... everybody shld watch it... a film with depth...

sad though... hated the ending... i seemed to be able to sympathise with almost everybody in the film... which makes me think it's a great cast... they all played their roles very naturally and very well... but i still hate the ending... bah...

okie... i shall attempt to get back to studyin...

p/s: that was absolutely irresponsible... my safety and life not even worth a cab fare? just think about it...

2008-04-18T01:42:00.005+08:00

and so Ben had his 21st on Monday... 14th April... i hope u enjoyed it dude... sorry no seafood buffet at a posh hotel... but a mini bbq downstairs yr place... :)

and so the theme was film... everybody was supposed to be dressed in black and white... black and white utensils... and yup... the deco of cuz...

yup.... and of cuz every bday boy had to be kai-ed... haha! what more on his 21st... it was satay sauce, coke, lotsa ice in the pants... and a journey down to the pool... and into the water... :D

heh... and of cuz the bday cake... and the various groups of frens and family... :)

ben and family... so sweet...

ben and the army gang... haha! funny dudes...

ben and all-ever cat high boys... :)

finally the VJ peeps... :D

and ALL OF US FRIENDS...

so there ben... happy 21st...

p/s... i have lotsa other fotos... but din upload all... haha! but if any of you wanna see them or want them can lemme know... :D

2008-04-13T13:12:00.002+08:00

yesterday was pretty confusing for me... haha! yup...

went for leonardo practice at which i finally am starting to learn some thing about music... the kensas guy was good... little words but so damn useful words.... some pple shld really master that skill...

after that it was airport for popeyes and sending Fran off... bye babe... i wish u all the best... anyway too bad i din bring my camera yesterday... else it wld have been quite a good momento... basically becuz i hung out with pple whom i dun always hang out with... and i actually miss these kinda frenships...

the talk at Pac coffee was inspiring... was open... was painful... was everything actually... but somehow i dunno why i feel like ive found depth in those friends of mine... it's like u dun always have such intellectual conversations... and last night's one just made me miss you guys even more...

i actually kinda feel sad about the rship i have with someone... or rather frenship... if i could turn back time id actually re-do so many things and changed things with you... up till today i think ure one person i can actually talk to and share certain dreams with... like i still enjoy talking to you (whenever we have the chance to that is)... but somehow our frenship was terrible destroyed by i dunno what... i have no idea what it was that destroyed us... fear? gossips? commitment?? i dunno... but after last night i think i really miss a fren in you... i really do... it's like i spent last night thinking about my JC days and how all those went well... just only that i wish i held on to certain frens upon graduating... or that we didnt have certain conflicts and arguments...

okie... im being so damn bloody crappily emo... haha! im going to season chicken wings now... :D

2008-04-11T01:17:00.002+08:00

i cant believe that after 3 years (okie... almost there)... im still saying this...

i love baobaotime...

haha! i sound like a pathetic child... but i guess the 3 long years have brought me to this level of joy and understanding...

rough times... yup... we all go through them... but at least we're all still honest and open... at least we try the hell of our lives to be... there's really no point if not for that...

okie... i think im rambling on crappish... but anyway i guess what i really mean to say in short is that i appreciate this thing that's happening to me... and that if not for all the problems we've been through it wldnt actually feel this way... yes i hate certain memories and certain pple who've tried to come btwn us... but still after 3 long years having this level... it really is smth i never expected possible for me...

everybody out there... pls treasure yr other halves... and dun ever think that the rship is doomed to fail... i believe ive been in the dump-est of situations and i may not be totally out of it... but i think i am on my way... and nothing is unsalvageable... u just have to be really thick-skinned about it, hang in there and everything will work out when there is a will...

i just hope my life goes on liddat (at least for this aspect of it) forever... doesnt seem too impossible... but then again it's hard to say... haiz...

life is unpredictable...

im so ramblish... and so deserve to be boxed off to bed...

okok... baobaotime... ill just climb back into bed and try to wake the whole world up...

yup... u are the whole world to me... (im losing my mind i think... fishcake and balls!)

2008-04-10T23:17:00.000+08:00

and so i attended Rhapsody 8 today... well done VS... i think u guys did a fantastic job... very neat... very well performed... simple yet very classy... vocal wise i dun have much to say... always been a fan of the VSChoir... so yup... kudos to a very enjoyable concert... loved u guys... loved every minute of the concert... :D

vjchoir also did well... very stable the choir... very impressed with their singing... but like i already told them, just a little bit more heart to the music would make it perfect... im proud of you juniors... it felt good sitting in VCH knowing that im a senior... well done...

2008-04-09T14:13:00.000+08:00

this part of my life is called the boring part...

exams and nothing but exams...

argh...

2008-03-31T23:11:00.007+08:00

MAJ-EGG

it's seriously amazing this thing... it's so freaking cool... u see i came home tonight... walked into the kitchen trying to identify what the horrible alcoholic smell was... only to see funny foetus like jars on the kitchen table...

it ended up to be my bro's ingenious experiment with eggs and alcohol...

apparently u see he put an egg in a jar of alcohol... and left it there for about 24 hours... and this is what it becomes... damn cool...

no seriously check out the difference in the eggs... the whole brownish part is totally gone and it can freaking bounce... i cant seem to upload the video... but i hope sometime i will be able to...

and... in the process of this retarded 24 hour process... the egg freaking spins by itself in the jar... again another video i cant upload... but ill keep trying...

but it's just so freaking coool..... haha! yup... MAGIC (maj-egg) indeed... :D

2008-02-22T13:03:00.001+08:00

oh manz... you stink you know that?

well... thank god i have my lappie with me... im in school waiting for my next class to start... i hate such long breaks when there's nth to do in school... argh... practically wasting my time away doing nothing...

i dun like carrying heavy bags to school so i cant bring like other readings that i can do etc... or study other material... manz...

so yeps... i think im just gonna play a game online... im so damn bored...

yet so damn stressed... i cant wait for my one week break starting TOMORROW!!!!!!!! im going to hong kong... im going to disneyland and im going to swim with dolphins at ocean park... i hope all goes well...

lalala... haha!

2008-02-19T16:49:00.001+08:00

im going to swim with dolphins...

my lifelong dream come true...

2008-02-19T16:42:00.002+08:00

so many things unsaid...

so many things unheard...

a one-way street...

a lonely walk for my hurt

i don't wanna let go yet...

i want to keep on trying...

but it's just so damn difficult...

i just keep on crying...

each night in loneliness i wait

trying to put myself to sleep

to no avail

each day im just so damn weak

when will all these change

dont u just get it?

unrequited love

it's hurt at its peak

i know it's not your fault

i am glad you shared yr woes

you know im trying right?

or do you just wanna let go?

please someone, anyone

remove me from this pain

i am strong, i can try to be

but pls, be it not in vain

2008-02-14T00:25:00.003+08:00

had a blast of a steamboat last night... company was great... food was alright (the steamboat pot gave up on us... so we had to manually cook the food in the kitchen and had a pseudo-steamboat... haha!)... mahjong was ultimate... cldnt have asked for a better night with friends...

well, thank you to Adrian, Gabriel, Ben, Jianhao and Tiong for coming... yes... thank you Tiong for even appearing... yr presence has been missed and yesterday's meet up was great for all of us...

din take fotos cuz we all were just too busy having our own fun, drinking, eating, laughing, and catchin up on almost everything... talked about kids the whole night through... really funny hearing them anecdotes from Gabriel and Tiong (both relief teachers now)... yup...

the highlight of the night? GAYBRIEL MOMENT!!!! hahaha! no words can describe how intoxicating the scene was... i think u really have to be there to understand how gay gaybriel was when he flicked that wrist and went "hey, he's my favourite student u know?" *winks winks* hahaha... well, even typing about it and recalling it now... brings gaybumps... arrrrrgggghhhh....

well... the night had to end early because gaybriel and tiong had to teach the next day... so it was early farewell for the gang... but the night was still young for me and cus... we continued playing 2-PLAYER-MAHJONG!!!!!! can u believe that? yup... self-invented... and i learnt a new game... POKER... haha! fun it was... we ended up sleeping at 3... but it was totally worth it...

cheers... good gay mite!

P/s: anyone up for another round of mahjong this sunday???
Pp/s: and marcus wants to watch sweedney todd (did i spell it right?)
plan somebody plan...

2008-02-14T00:17:00.003+08:00

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY to me... :D

my v-day present... from my one-and-only right at 12am... very pretty indeed... been wanting a watch for a very long time... didnt expect my baby to get it for me... looks like this valentine's day will be filled with much happiness, much fun and much love...

(i know how irritating mushy posts can get... but i dun quite care... it's v-day and im so happy i need to say what i want to say) thank u sweetheart for being who u are... i know u know what i mean when i say thank you... i have lots to thank you for... especially being the notti girl i am... i cannot ask for a better lover...

i can only hope to love you more each day...

cheers to our love... endless, sweet, true...

2008-01-22T16:32:00.000+08:00

i hate this feeling of not being able to do anything... of not being able to help... of not being able to make the situation better...

i hate receiving a call only to hear that something bad has happened and im stuck here unable to do anything about it...

i hate the fact that everything is going on there and i know nothing at all...

i hate losing grandma... i want to see her again and again... she's only getting better after the drugs... so why take her away so soon? we only just got the old grandma back... why take her away from us so soon? does it mean because nobody there is willing to take care of her means she has to go so soon? then bring her back here and i will take care of her... i will do all i can to make sure she stays with us happily... i don't want grandma to go... please...

2008-01-20T14:50:00.000+08:00

another ultra busy week... my 93 year old grandma came down from msia and is temporarily staying with us... she's quite troublesome in the sense that she keeps demanding to walk everywhere when she cant walk on her own... argh... and we found out that the maid we've been hiring to take care of her has been drugging my grandma with i-dunno-what drugs to make her drowsy, sleepy and almost dead... so now im really busy investigating the case and settling matters for my wa ma...

and she's quite scary... come 6.30pm she'll change from speaking in hokkien to speaking in cantonese... and she'll start telling me about the ghosts she see... last night it was a child ghost who wasn't happy cuz there wasn't enough food to eat... argh.... and she'll point at some empty space and go "neh... she's there"... wah i tell you... freaky...

yup... that's what ive been damn busy with... alongside all that school has started and lessons and readings have been piling up like nobody's business... sucks manz... i really have to do well this semester... pull up my cap... i dunno how im gonna graduate manz... seriously...

anyway... i gtg... came online to print some notes... gotta go back to watcing wa ma again...

i wonder how ill be like when im old...

2008-01-14T02:17:00.000+08:00

my blog has been dead...

haha! basically because ive been busy with a lot of stuff...

planning my timetable... in fact ive been so busy with stuff that i even forgot to bid for my last module... the one and only that i had to bid for... thinking of doing biz law... hope the bidding tomorrow goes okie... haiz... i cant believe i actually forgot to bid... sucks...

oh wells... anyway i just came back from a wedding in msia... me and marcus and my family actually... it's a really close cousin of mine... we did a really damn rush and damn last minute video for her... so last minute that even right at the wedding dinner we were still unsure if the burning of the CD would work out... we actually brought the whole laptop and burner and external hard-disk to the wedding venue... hid in a room and did the last minute thing... even then still unsure if it wld come out successful... finally all went well... and the millions of yumsengs were worth it...

had a fun night in my cousin's house... boozing... suppering... and of cuz watching my dear man u hit newcastle with SIX goals in the 2nd half... amazing? yes... and that everyone... is the team of my life MANCHESTER UNITED... and congratulations to Ronaldo on his first hat trick... im really proud of you... at the most unexpected of games... but truly deserving... pat on the back my handsome friend...

anyway... school's starting tomorrow... and i hope this semester goes well... it has to... or else my honours will just fly down the drain...

i think im tired already... my eyes are hurting... and seems to me im talking rubbish... incoherent crap... i guess ill go off for now...

i shall attempt to post more often...

love u b... alot... thanks for everything...

2008-01-06T17:04:00.000+08:00

in MY definition,

Utter Bliss = having you lie beside me, in dreamland, snoring away

this being my first post of the year, it's dedicated to you. you still light up my life and you still very much are my everything.

2007-12-17T11:32:00.000+08:00

thank you manchester united. your win was truly deserved. the spirit was fantastic. the teamwork at its best. there can never be another team like you.

and im so freakin tired now... haha! cuz i stayed up to watch the giants' matches last night... till rather late... and den woke up at 6.45 today... actually ive been feeling like a housewife... haha! i wake up so damn early, see what i can prepare for some bfast for my B.lee... prepare some packed food to bring into camp (today was apples)... and then say my bye-byes (occassionally send him to camp or MRT)... and then off to bed i go again. haha! but today... after sending B off... i continued to stay awake... and cleaned the whole house...

my maid went back to Philippines yesterday. and so im the maid from today onwards. haha! it's tiring manz... waking up really early... throwing the clothes into the machine... sweeping the floor... mopping the floor... wiping the dust off the shelves etc... and then hanging out the clothes... and then washing all the toilets in the house... it doesnt help firstly that i stay in a landed double storey... so there's just too much floor area to sweep and mop! secondly... the stupid fluctuating weather isnt helping the hanging of the clothes that much... i find myself chasing the sun more than anything else. haha! im pretty sure this is gonna be my daily routine for a while...

im gonna have to prepare lunch for my brother now... who is still soundly asleep... pigass... not that he can help do anything anyway...

yes yes... im preparing for the KL trip after xmas... actually more or less everything's settled... tickets bought... booking hotel... calling my aunty to ask if i can borrow her house for 2 nights... fun really...

and xmas... ive been busy shopping for presents... all the relatives that are coming down to my place for xmas... it's so damn difficult to buy la... hope they like their gifts manz... really hope they do.

okie... im off to go find smth to do... there're alot really... but they just make me feel so old... so housewifey... it's my holidays!!!! im supposed to be enjoying and playing!!! haha... what to do?

2007-12-11T22:36:00.000+08:00

and so everything is finally over... time for a sue lynn breather... haha!

ALCM exam went okie... examiner was quite nice... but his impromptu speech topic was crap...
"explain and justify the COE system in Singapore to a group of tourists"
like wth??? well... i did as well as i thought i could do... talked alot of cock i guess... i just hope i pass and next year i will move on to my licenciate level... and HOORAY... sue lynn can finally teach...

now just xmas to look forward to... and i love xmas... my house is all nicely decorated up with a lot of lights and alot of ribbons... i love xmas i really do... cant stress it enough... and i love shopping for presents and writing cards and all... haha!

i shall leave now and get back to blogging some other time when im free again...

btw i have a new lappie... it's damn nice... and i love it. haha!

oh yah... and i shall be busy photocopying at aunty faith's again... heh! :)

2007-12-06T12:28:00.000+08:00

and so exams are finally over... had my last ridiculous Bio (totally did not study for) paper today... just have to wait for results now... haha!

i still have my ALCM diploma exam tomorrow... hopefully it goes perfectly ok that one... cuz my whole life depends on it manz.

so now im off to rehearsing my speech and reading up on my theory... tata everyone... will be back soon im sure...

2007-11-22T06:33:00.000+08:00

GOD SAVE THE QUEEN

what is a euro without the english?

im not exactly a fan of the english... but still?

what is a euro without the english???????

maybe that just means more rest for english players and more wins in champs league by english clubs? i dunno manz...

this is so weird... what will euro 08 be like?

2007-11-19T21:23:00.000+08:00

how much of luck matters in life? how much of luck works for pple who succeed? is everything based on luck?

i believe that luck only takes up a little bit of everything... true... without luck, opportunities wont present themselves to you... but it's the choices u make in life that determine where u go... a lot of everything is dependent on the choices u make and the consequences that follow...

but well... some pple believe in luck... some even say most things happen and are the way they are because 50% is luck...

i guess these pple have yet to understand the ability of choice and consequence... neither have these pple been in really bad luck and worked themselves out of it...

they just need to learn...

how much do YOU believe in luck?

2007-11-15T12:01:00.000+08:00

i dun like being sick... my throat's inflammed... and ive been up with high fever the whole of yesterday and today...

argh... my whole body's aching... i cant decide if i actually feel cold or hot... and my throat... oh god... even yawning is such torture...

what more i have a test tomorrow... whole of yesterday i din study... i have to force myself to study today... sucks...

i really hate being sick...

2007-11-12T16:11:00.000+08:00

Night Fishing... alot of fun...

the group of us singing and calling the fishes to our rods

us and our catch of 25 fishes at the end of the night...

what an amazing catch... big and nice fishes... successful fishing night...

2007-11-07T01:42:00.000+08:00

specially dedicated to Ben
(and all who love him)

one night in Geylang as we were eating dim sum

me: eh... we all go night fishing one of these days la... set?
everyone else: okie la... but when?

ben: huh? midnight fishing ah? still got fish meh?

we still love u ben... we do...

2007-11-04T13:07:00.000+08:00

im so dead... lotsa deadlines to meet... philo papers... my body language thesis... everything everything everything...

but im glad there's rockapella tonight... cant wait really... i hope they put up a good show manz... haha! i enjoyed last year's... i hope this year's as good... or even better...

well... the last fun thing that happened to me - Borneo Motors carolling! haha... it was ultra fun... except for me having cold feet and forgetting my parts like minutes before the performance... sorry to my fellow girls who had to keep rehearsing it with me... sorry dawn for bugging you down so much that day... u were terribly patient with me... heh... such a darling as always...

after Borneo we went down to Vivo to watch Game Plan... 11.30 show... so we hung at Ben and Jerry's for ice-cream first... i shared a waffle bowl with b... yummy yummy yummy... havent had ice cream in a long time u see... or at least yummy ice cream...

Game Plan was awesome funny shit... it's a damn good show... i think im starting to have a crush on The Rock... can u imagine a WWF star becoming an actor where he is now... he's got the most brilliant smile... even marcus thinks so... so my oogling isnt a crime here... haha! Patten was so damn cute too... i love the show... id watch it again and again and again... as i watched mulan again and again and again for like 75 times already. haha!

and all along these... ive been having the whole house and the whole car to myself... my parents and my bro left for US on Wed... for 3 whole weeks... with my sister who's meeting them there... such a pity i cant go... cuz they planned the holiday without realising that in uni exams end in dec??? yea... but oh wells... at least B is doing all he can to make my life alone here damn meaningful and fun... which i damn well appreciate... haha!

so driving arnd spore has been such an experience... of cuz car tagging is fun too (joel and his signals)... alot of virgin experiences on roads ive never been before... not to mention drive on before... so all's good... im currently figuring out a way to get from Sembawang camp to Esplanade for tonight... i hope esplanade's carpark is friendly - by that i mean not narrow and hard to manouvere... u know... driving a honda odeyssey isnt very easy with it's oh-so-long body...

so upcoming events planned by B to make this not so boring for me would be FISHING!!!! haha! well... i enjoyed the previous fishing day so much... but it was too hot and im peeling now... so we're looking for midnight fishing... :D fun! and BBQ's... and yummy dinners... and hanging out with friends... and alot of studying in btwn all that... exams are freaking coming... rah!

so yea... life's been pretty okok for me recently... a bit of confusion actually... but i hope nth too big for me to handle... i just have to wait it out and take dawn's advise to just lie low and wait... i can do it... it's not that hard really...

back to more philo papers....

2007-10-23T23:12:00.000+08:00

why are u guys being so damn difficult? am i not trying to make smth happen here? am i not trying? but each time i try i dun get any response from any of you? what is going on with u guys manz? i mean... are u guys that difficult to maintain a friendship with? am i not worth u guys trying to maintain a friendship with at least? or are u guys just being weird in choosing the friends u guys want? seriously... im done with all that... so many sms-es and nobody replies... what's up man dudes???

jamie where are you? or even someone in spore, dawn, for that matter... why is it that im online and there's nobody i can talk to? im struggling my way here... im having so much of a hard time here in spore... im coping with so many difficult and shitty small things... that when i tell pple about them they think it's so super small and dumb that i shldnt even care about them... but im sure u guys will understand how it is like... all the small things coming at once...

seriously... why do i have to deal with this whole load of stuff piling up on me... dun u realise that the consequences of my own actions are even heavier for me to bear? dun u realise that im the one who has to live in pain, doubt and fear? dun u realise how thick a mud uve created for me to trudge through?

smile everyday, try everyday... but yet still i know in my heart im failing... and one day im just going to fall apart... break within... lose myself in this whole thing... i dun get it... did i make a wrong decision then? why am i even doubting?

someone... anyone... please help me...

2007-10-22T00:58:00.000+08:00

it seems my life's coming to a standstill... maybe it's school... what with the amount of work and all... maybe it's my lack of activities? i dunno... it's just reaching a point where im not sure if it's a hopeless standstill or a comfortable case of stability... im still not sure if i like where i am...

ive been coming online to talk to jamie... but each time im online she isnt... and that sucks...

We Wear the Mask

We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes -
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile.
And mouth with myriad subtleties.

Why should the world be over-wise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
We wear the mask.

We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
We wear the mask!

2007-10-13T14:14:00.000+08:00

u are the worst person i can ever have in my life right now....

and i know u wont even be reading this because u dun even care...

so what if ive done my best? how does that even ring yr balls? it doesnt at all... your freaking balls still have to be manually rang with a big bamboo pole...

because u are just so dense... so so dense...

ultimate insensitive, ultimate selfish... ultimate unappreciative...

there are pple out there who will appreciate me more than you... and they're reaching out more to me than anything else in the world... and they seem to care a hell lot more...

so dun let these pple ring them balls of yours... ring them yrselves...

2007-10-03T01:39:00.000+08:00

apologies smellipig... ive been neglecting you... yes i know... but ive really been busy... before mid-term i was up to a meter above my neck with work and datelines... and so during the mid-term break i went for a short getaway to Genting with myoneandonly...

yes... i know... first qn: isnt mid-term suppose to be a time to catch up and study for midtermtests? well... yes... but i havent any midtermtests so lucky for me... and plus im so freakin stressed up here in spore with all the crappy pple arnd me i just wanted to get out of here... and get out of seeing your dreary horrible thought-provoking blog... you suck like shit anyway? hope you know that... kinda glad ure in the state you are in now... you deserve it...

second qn would probably be along the lines of: GENTING??? why AGAIN? and just WHY? hahaha! yes i know... genting of all places right? but u see... we have plans for HK at the end of this year, Russia next june, and England, namely Manchester, namely Old Trafford (and of cuz 2 BPL matches there) the minute myone ORDs... so there's budget constraints... and anyhow we both just wanted some time off alone to slack, eat, sleep, play and enjoy cold cold weather...

and indeed we achieved what we went there for... long bathtub baths... 2 dinner buffets of eating till puke-point... lots of expensive but yummy food... sleeping... watching 24hrs soccer in the hotel room... really... slacking and eating indeed... haha!

so yeps... ive been busy with work and "busy" with getting away from crap... now that im back... i hope it all doesnt start again...

for now im just gonna rest and catch ManU play Roma later on... the darling has just popped up beside me to remind me of the godly time... okie... nights everybody....

i shall be back...

2007-09-23T02:27:00.000+08:00

i hate things the way they are...

i really dun like change... i dun like changing what i feel is comfortable for me...

and it's bad that you guys are not giving me the support that i think u shld be? i think u guys need to be more understanding for me... instead im so stressed out everyday making sure i do things that make u guys happy... and it always ends up with me being the one on the losing end... i always have to sacrifice my personal happiness just so u guys will be happy... what's the deal? where's the support?

why does this have to be so hard? why can't an easier compromise be made...

am i just too tired to bring things along? shld i just let off the load and deal with the consequences albeit a different set...

oh manz... this sucks... i really hate the way things are going... can someone just help me...

im so eff-ing stressed...

on a separate note, i feel much more vitalised and more spurred on about chorale after AGM today... think having "camps" might actually work out for the bonding thing... i dunno... i just wish i were abit more bonded to pple...

i dunno... i dun really like things the way they are now... im tired... im so tired...

yes, it's tiring for you... but dun u realise it's tiring for me too? and it involves alot more effort on my side? dun u realise it involves a lot more feelings and emotions for me? no... no... no...

it's my effing responsibility and dats full of crap shit...

i hate this... i really do... i wish someone can just find me a perfect solution...

2007-09-10T01:53:00.000+08:00

well... the school holidays for the pri/sec/JC schools are over... and funny how it seems i was one of them on holidays too...

i guess it's because the wknd was full of fun... what with my special one out the whole time... spending happy pure fun slack time together. and also with my bro out of school and having fun. the neighbours arnd hanging...

i watched Evan Almighty last night... with my bro and the neighbours... and of cuz my b-lee... yeps. we were both the oldest ones there... with the next oldest at say 14? haha! so it was really an outing of baby-sitting the little boys... but the show was good. funny and although unbelieveable... very damn good. i liked it alot... i was literally laughing and smiling the whole show through. good show... everybody should go watch it.

bah... today i went to watch a horrible show though. yes the storyline's good... but no manz... the visual effects and casting was bleagh... yeps... im talking about The Last Legion. i really like the concept though... i like the main character... that little boy who acted in Nanny McPhee too. i like the whole Roman thingy... the whole Legion agst Legion... betrayal and all. but oh manz... the director really made the whole show look very dumb... watch it and ull know what i mean...

so yea... the wknd passed very slowly amidst all that fun... with no chorale... the wknds are really sian. i cant wait for carolling... haha! yes i know it's too damn early to be even thinking about it... but oh wells... i cant wait for xmas. yeps... :)

i finally got myself settled down... finally got myself organised... wrote out the list of things i need to catch up with... school work i mean. and yes... the list is lllloooonnnnnggggg i must say. but it seems possible... ive dedicated each day to one module... and on that day i shall just get into the mood of the module and study it hard... haha! great plan... but im sure im due for procrastination... im the princess of lists, planning and organising... but im also the queen of laziness and procrastination (or else why would i even have that ultra-uber-loooong list right?)

haiz... things are looking good now... occasional hiccups but i believe necessary ones. i mean... what's life without downs? each of us has a cross to carry... and we just have to have faith and carry our crosses with love. that's the christian way of living... i just hope i can continue to have that amount of faith, that amount of strength, that amount of love...

i strive to be full of love and to reach out to the pple around me (especially my loved one B-lee) with sacrifice and patience...

things shld only get better for now...

oh except for the fact that my darling has gone back to camp... im already missing his crap... he really is one full loaded shithead that one... ;)

2007-08-31T01:53:00.000+08:00

so many things to say...

so little ways to put it...

sorry frens if my blog has failed to update you on my life recently... or give u any form of interesting news... but im really not in the mood for anything in my life right now...

basically im busy trying to make things right... and yes... that's damn frustrating... especially when i feel that im the one who has been wronged... but i guess... there comes a time in life where u just have to suck it up and just give your all come what may...

and i guess after that pray hard that you will be duely rewarded...

study hard... correct my posture... watch my mood swings... trust... drag myself out of bed and home travel a long one half hours only to attend lessons that are crap???

sucks... i hate issues liddat in my life...

basically i kinda hate my life now...

how's anything my fault at all?

what exactly did i do to jeopardise the whole thing? im quite sure nothing... im quite sure if anything ive been the one to pull things up to this level... but no...

i can only continue to give and not take...

that's the rule of life...

that was a buncha shit loaded crap!

2007-08-28T17:37:00.000+08:00

yoo hoo... just so damn happy after concert...

okay... looks weird eh? a cow and me... haha!
just a random shot of pple hanging arnd the backstage area...
hello mr yokee... haha!
and yes B... i dunno what ure doing there...
charming isnt she??? great make up dawn, joyce and sandy... perfect hair job yokee...
errr... ya... extremely high after the concert...

haha! cute...

guys warming up and singing songs...
hi sam!
the 3 pretty girls... relaxing their feet i assume...
smiles for my camera...

thanks u guys who came to watch the concert.... love y'all loads...

we werent quite so ready for the shot...
mr oh-so-lame toh... kudos to his constant nagging and teaching... haha

yeps... Calvin and i... being so damn ugly...

In Song was good... i really felt so nice singing for the concert... i really appreciate how everyone tried to make it a success.. especially those in charge of the music, the production, the programme booklets, the choreo, the costumes, the make-up, everything la... i really finally understand how it feels like to sing among friends who care for each other and look out for each other... feels good singing in chorale. really... i enjoyed it... and the concert was a success... i had alot of fun... i love chorale...

2007-08-23T23:39:00.000+08:00

i watched HAIRSPRAY today... awesome... fantastic... amazing... everybody go watch it... im sure u all will love it. i almost stood up in the middle of the cinema and started dancing... the whole time we were like imagining how it would look on a concert stage in spore... how we wld do it with a choir if we could... we were singing out loud the amazing songs... it was a GREAT show... everybody you have to watch it... and also please... go pee before the show... im sure u wont wanna miss a single bit of it manz... really awesome... and the greatest thing is how before we watched the show we walked into sembawang music store... and b bought me the soundtrack... even before watching the show... but im more than glad i have it now... im gonna transfer them songs to my ipod later... and im so happy ive got the lyrics too... haha! simple pleasures...

so today... in the name of fitness... we went for a 2 hour cycling exercise at East Coast which has left me red in the cheeks and on the nose... haha! well... hot it was but fun i must say... and im sure i will have problems getting out of bed what with all that ache in my thighs... but nvm... at least i did some sorta fun exercise today... haha!

im having a really bad headache... and yet i still have so many notes to print. rah... sianz... and ive got stupid school tomorrow... thank god one of them lectures are webcasted... so i dun have to stay in school till 4 tomorrow... argh... i hate school... i really hate school...

but one thing im looking forward to... im gonna go down to town tomorrow... hopefully ill be able to find and finally get my English Pronouncing Dictionary den... yeps... and b is gonna get his nice new shoes...

im kinda excited for In Song really... like... im washing my gown... washing the kebaya.... hanging them out to dry... and i gotta go check on my black shoes tomorrow... heh...

okok... back to printing notes... and i hope i have an early night...

head's about to split like a watermelon...

2007-08-21T01:17:00.000+08:00

haiz...

why do i feel so horrible after practice on sunday?

why do i feel like school's gonna suck... what with the stupid bio module... and the thick textbooks...

why do i feel so scared for the concert... and for the singing...

why do i feel so pressured?

why is it that i feel that my voice needs ALOT more help... i cant sing...

why is that it's been 2 years but i dunno where it's going?

why is it that everything has to come back to me now the way it is?

why is it that things have to change? why is it that we cant find a healthy combination? why is it so god-damnit hard to do this right?

why must man u have such a stupid start to the season? why must there be so many injuries and so many suspensions? why are we playing so stupidly? why are we having over 70% of possession but yet zero goals???

why are there just so many questions and yet zero answers?

2007-08-14T17:36:00.000+08:00

i need to

- get down to co-op to buy my books
- start cheering full time for man u (they drew the first match of the season)
- keep revising and swallowing the notes of my scores (concert's coming up very soon)
- keep listening to Jerusalem Surge MP3 and hope it's easier to memorise that way
- go and alter my kebaya skirt
- go and buy that book i saw at Times today
- get the tutorial slots the way i planned it (or else i will be depressed)
- start working on my body language thesis paper (anybody with material on body language and oral communication, pls lend them to me)

- do ALOT ALOT more things

- start forgiving you (disgusting old habits never change do they?)

2007-08-12T22:58:00.000+08:00

yes... i havent blogged in a long time... there're only a few things i can say...

1. EPL has started (heavenly)
2. School is starting (#%*$&@)
3. Chorale concert is coming (come support pls)

the three big things in my life... imagine how confused i must be. haha!

alright.

ill be back... (at least i hope)

2007-08-02T22:56:00.001+08:00

manz... in alot of pain manz... braces sucks. haiz... and i look farnee... i look weird... i cant eat... wah.. horrible... i find myself wanting to rip off every single thing in my mouth the whole time. and i wish i didnt pay that much for the whole thing... cuz i wanna give it up now... i dun wanna do it at all... i dun bother if my teeth have stupid probs in future or whatsoever... i hate the pain manz. argh...

so ive been doing nth much... yea... basically slacking... but what's new right? since hols started 3 months ago... ive been such a bummer. but yeps... that's what i do best so i might as well stick to it.

someone give me some ponstan... i have none left at home.... finished them up after my opt... i really really need some...

2007-07-31T22:33:00.000+08:00

so there... the first step taken...

and it's painful... it's hard... it's not so much the hurt kinda pain... but it's the strangling kind of discomfort. i feel so uneasy... i feel so uncomfortable... i feel like things aren't going right... i feel so lousy... i feel so not happy, so not at ease... i feel hopeless... i feel very alone...

i feel like crying...

i have so little faith in this...

2007-07-30T01:58:00.000+08:00

sometimes i think we just stop seeing the other party for who they are NOW, but keep seeing them for who they were. and this taints our perception. and we just keep acting the same way we do with them, based on our old perception of them

u cant be more right there dawn...

2007-07-30T00:45:00.000+08:00

the long break's finally over. and im actually very sad that it's over... but i guess i gotta live with it and move on...

but im glad i found a friend... someone who's very much like me... someone who has made an effort to understand how i feel... or even just can empathise with me... someone who has attempted and made an effort to make me feel very welcomed... it's not everyday that u find friends liddat... it's not always you can share your life experiences with someone and actually feel understood... it's rare to struggle through the same struggles and be inspired by a friend who has been through it... and im very grateful i have one around me now...

okie... life has resumed it's normal status i shld say... and bidding has started... i hope i get my modules... and i hope my timetable doesnt suck too much... i hate it when timetables suck... argh...

actually i realise that over time ive become more introvert... and i dunno if that's a bad thing really... like... in uni... im actually not very into makin friends and laughing out loud in class... or raising my hand to state an opinion... but i guess im alright with that... im pretty alright with being the quiet girl at the back of the class who leaves and comes for class alone... who avoids eating in school cuz it always happens alone... haiz... i actually lead quite a depressing life... thank god for the friends i have arnd me now...

and thank god for you...

2007-07-25T22:27:00.000+08:00

i havent blogged in ages... like really donkey weeks ago...

that's cuz ive been busy... an enjoying myself... and at the same time nursing my darling with an injured back... so yah... ive practically been playing the role of his healthy mobile back... doing things he cant for him...

there're alot of things worth mentioning that has happened in the past few weeks... but to mention them would take me ages... and alot of digging up from deep within my memory... so i think i really would just prefer to skip that...

so maybe just to mention im currently watching Saudi versus Japan... and im really hoping Japan wins... very exciting game so far... saudi's leading though...

oh yah... i kinda wanna put this photo up... cuz it's really funny... all Man U fans will agree with me... AIG and Ferdinand with this hair??? surely doesnt go does it???

and... im a week away from getting the whole braces up in my mouth... currently now ive got the bands on already... and oh my god do they hurt! scraping my gums and tongue... not a nice feeling at all...

ive been having quite fun days... nighting away reading my harry potter while b reads Angels and Demons... finally convinced him to do some reading in his life... and yes... first book... Angels and Demons... so yes... we've been into reading...

alright... that's it for now... im going back to watch my exciting saudi japan match... school's gonna start soon... so i guess i better enjoy my last few weeks...

so little time so much more to do...

2007-07-09T23:24:00.000+08:00

u noe i really hate you? yes... it's you im talking about... so quit behaving the way you are... if u think ure so good... or so cool for that matter... i think ure really wrong... so really... have some self respect and stop humiliating yrself... or stop creating the wrong tabs for yrself...

yes... i really hate you... for reasons not too difficult to identify...

2007-07-08T23:44:00.000+08:00

so there... that's road graffti for you... awesome? yea... had awesome fun doing it too... haha! and good thing is that it totally doesnt kill the environment... i like it. haha!

so yah... the wknd has came and gone... and im still procrastinating like some dumb person... okie... maybe i just have to write a list of things i really need to do... see how long it actually really is and den freak out! haha! hols are coming to an end and im like... not doing anythin yet.

okie... besides doing up my room... finally my new bed is here... upgrading from a single to a queen is pure bliss manz... shiokness! haha! so at least i have a reason... ive been busy doing up the house... after the renovation... goodness gracious. the amount of things i have to do is... faintable manz. but it's good in the sense that im getting new curtains... new bed... new lamps... new picture frames... im basically doing a room make-over... with marcus lee as my designer. haha!

so yea... i shall go write up that list now... and im happy im singing in chorale again... im really happy... it makes me feel so... at ease? i dunno... i just feel more fulfilled... yah...

2007-07-04T23:39:00.000+08:00

----- bon voyage -----

i hate bidding farewells... i hate saying goodbyes. den again i think everybody hates it right? this morning i saw one of my closest friends off at the airport... i hated every moment of it... i hated the ride to the airport... i hated the part where she walked off to the gates... and i hated the moment after that... when i was on my way out of the airport... i asked myself... the airport really is a confusing place... pple go there to vent out stress, anger and hurt at the viewing gallery... pple go there to earn money, for their careers... pple go there happy that someone they havent seen in a long time's coming back... pple go there to say farewell to their close loved ones... pple go there to study... pple go there to eat... pple go there to take wedding photos... pple go to the airport for all sorts of reasons... but i totally hated the reason i was there for today. i just wish the day where i go there to pick Jamie up comes soon... i hope she's doing ok...

----- crash -----

accidents on the roads are scary... over the past few days ive been witnessing many accidents... even accidents that occur right before my very eyes where i see the car engulfed in fume right after crashing into the divider and flying few metres forward... and just now on my way back from Sembawang (sent marcus back to camp) i saw an accident too... and i hate it when all i can do is just say a silent prayer for the victims and the families of the victims... and drive on to wherever i wanna go... it makes me wonder if it's a sign for me to start treasuring the pple arnd me more?

----- the mystery of love -----

how do u know u love a person anyway? somehow today i felt love... at least i think it was love... im not sure... as i saw the fear in your eyes when the doctor said he was going to do a scope for you... i felt my heart pounding alot faster and my hands turn cold. as i saw the doctor take out the scope tube... i almost cried. as i saw the way u crunched up your face and clenched yr fist tight when the doctor gave u the nasal anaesthetic... i felt myself clenching up every muscle in my body. as i saw the pain on yr face when the doctor stuck that scope tube up your nose... i felt the tears come to my eyes and i wanted to just go up to the doctor and stop whatever he was doing to you. as i continued watching the way you jerked each time he inserted the tube abit more... i just looked away and wiped the tears that were brimming waiting to roll down my cheeks. as i saw u sitting there helpless and in pain, i just wished i could take your place. is this love? i dont know. but ive never felt like this before.

----- the innocent punished -----

i know of a guy... who's business failed... went into gambling in hope of winning back the losses... but obviously getting into worse debts... this guy has a family. a huge family. a family of 5 children - the youngest being 2+ and the oldest only being 12. in desperation, he turned to the loansharks. after a while... he couldnt return the money and the children faced torture and fear everyday... they came home to splashed paint all over the door... glue stuck in the keyhole... their father's names written all over the void decks. but all they could do was to help to paint over these horrible writings. in hopelessness, he turned to a close family friend for help. and without any hesitation, this friend lent him $35 000 to clear the debts... but still... he never learnt his lesson and continued to gamble. he never stopped. more and more debts came. he borrowed more and more from this close friend. until one day... he stopped borrowing and told the close friend that he would return him the money one day. due to this "rift", the families drifted apart... once close enough to meet up every wknd for dinner... now turned to a situation where a meeting once a year was considered lucky. after 7 years... the man never bothered returning the money to his good friend. before all these happened... the man's kids loved going over to the close friend's house, where they could play all day, run in the garden that their small HDB couldnt allow, eat as many chocolates as they could, and have KFC for dinner. but ever since the whole thing started, such meetings became from rare to never. is it fair that because of their father's misdeeds, they're deprived of the joy? yet again... it seems like things would be awkward if they went to visit their good friend's family... i really sympathise with the kids. maybe one day i will go and visit them.

--- what a day -----

random thoughts interrupting what was supposed to be a beautiful day. sometimes life has unlimited surprises... all u have to do is to expect the unexpected.

2007-07-01T21:38:00.000+08:00

it's been awhile since i actually blogged... not that long but long enough... yea. haha! well... ive been busy with alot of things...

but the "worst" thing that happened to me is not being able to sing for In Song... sucks la. the inverted commas are cuz... it's not like the worst worst thing... but it's bad enough... noe wad i mean? argh... i mean like... learnt all the songs... practised... den i cant sing... haiz... shit la... reason being my dental stuff... i scared clash and all... haiz... what shld i do? i actually feel like stopping my dental thing... shld i? haiz... sucks...

hmmm... so the biggest thing that happened was last night's meet up for Jamie's farewell thingy... it was at Village... and we met hell lot of pple at orchard... haha! yeps... met like 2 of marcus' camp mates... met his TKSS junior... and elke. heh! we alighted from the same train... but initially we cldnt recognise her... when we finally did we figured saying hi wld be a bad idea... so we just din... yea. quite a funny moment that was... haha! sometimes when reality does its random sudden checks u have no idea what kinda odd stuff can hit you... hmmm... oh wells...

okie den... so photos it shall be... im too tired and there's too many things for me to do... so tata!

oh and thank you to Jamie and Lucas for another oh-so-cute addition to my rattan box (cuz i bought a nice rattan box to store my lovely only-come-alive-at-night darlings)... it's really sweet of u guys... i love it... i think this one shall be a guy... so he... but i havent thought of a name for him... suggestions anybody?

2007-06-26T02:36:00.000+08:00

haha! i saw this in Changi hospital's toilet.... i mean... have i left anything behind? am i supposed to? i think it's so funny manz... it just sounds too wrong... too odd...

2007-06-26T01:33:00.000+08:00

and so here are the photos... of saturday night... haha! perfect time... perfect pple...

2007-06-26T01:04:00.000+08:00

now here's my big keyboard pressie from my Blee...

really... i thought he wldnt have had time to buy it... :D

thanks b... ure awesome... simply for just being you...

this was at the buffet lunch... cus' parents who have done greatly so much for me...

mum, me and my love... buffet was yummy... :D

yea... i love my keyboard...

banging away on it... haha! enjoying myself...

thanks B... really... thanks... i promise ill think of u everytime i play on it... (not as if i dun already think of you all the time :D )

the wallet marcus' mum bought for me... :D

it really is quite a pretty one i think...

thank you may for this beautiful necklace... i love it... :D

and adrian yes... the perfectly-me bracelet... :)

i love you B... for everything that you are...

2007-06-26T00:09:00.000+08:00

awesome... heh! dats how id call my bday. yea... it was pretty much a whole wknd celebration. yea... very great i must say. yea... this wknd my love came out on friday night... which made everything better... haha! so we ate... and slacked... and laughed... and played... and slept... haha!

saturday was chorale... i went down at 5 instead... cuz i still cant sing... jaw not fully healed... there's still a bruise. haha! but yea... went down to hear out the songs... and of cuz collect my sarong kebaya of which i lent to marcus' mum. haha! she had some yamaha anniversary dinner and was supposed to wear ethnic costumes... den she was telling me that she wanna go dig out her old cheongsam thingy to wear... and so i offered her the kebaya... haha! how coincidental eh? yea... she was elated of cuz... hope she enjoyed her dinner... :D

oh yes... after chorale, i met up with my friends... they're an awesome bunch. really my buddies... i love these pple... they made me so damn happy... i mean... it wasnt even supposed to be like an official birthday dinner thingy... but they all still came... gave me my presents... and even sang a damn loud birthday song to me in the middle of East Coast Hawker... haha! the food was great... the company was perfect... i couldnt have asked for a better time... thanks my friends... i really from the bottom of my heart love u guys... i really appreciate it... i love the jacket... ive been in it since i got it (ask marcus, he'd know :D) and adrian... the bracelet is so "me" u noe? to all my friends... thanks for knowing me and showing it to me... it's the best bday present anyone can ever get... to know that u guys KNOW me... the orange and black jacket... black... and orange... why wldnt i love it??? ahhaha! and... the bracelet adrian... yes now i not only know u know me... i know uve been out shopping :)

after that i went to watch Nancy Drew midnight movie with my one and only... it was cool... we were the only ones in the cinema cuz we went in really early... although he slept off and on the show... i know he tried... yes love... i know u tried... thank you! heh!

sunday... we din do much... went to church... went to see more furniture... and yes... nothin really... haha!

today! my birthday! great... really great... i had marcus' company... cuz last night we went to Changi to report sick and he got an MC... so yes... that itself made my birthday awesomely perfect... just his presence made a huge difference... i was already mentally set not to have him arnd on my birthday... but that love actually went to make his illness worse just so he could get his MC... bathed... never wipe dry and sit in front of the fan... amazing? wad a sacrifice... and throughout the wknd, just so he could stay with me on my day, he was sniffing and coping with fluctuating temperatures... i love that guy. i really do... and what more... i already thought his presence was good enough... but no... he went on and got his mum to buy my present for me... my keyboard... amazing? i really have so much to thank his parents for... really... they've done so much for us... i shall send them a thank you card tomorrow or smth... :D heh! hmmm... and i went out for a birthday lunch... his parents, B and me... his parents' treat... a buffet lunch... so sweet eh? haha! yeps... and they got me a really nice brown mango wallet... it's pretty "me" too so i really think that it's great... haha!

and i came home... and opened my keyboard... and yes... i havent been able to leave it... haha! thank you to every single one of you who msged me... hian yin (for the middle night 12am on the dot msg)... adrian (for wishing and for the beauty bracelet)... joshua (for wishing me again and for going to pick out the jacket for me ya?)... chin chin ee and family (for sending me a msg all the way from msia)... william kor kor and family (for your lovely birthday wish)... mei guat and family (for such thoughful wishes and of cuz the msg across the causeway too)... ber ku and family (for msging me and for the blessings and the ringgit value again too)... zhenyan (for remembering and dropping the msg)... da jie and brian (for the msg from aussie and the call too... i miss u guys so much)... dawn (i really was shocked to receive yr msg... but terribly happy of cuz... thanks gal)... ben tan (for rmbring especially and for msging... let's meet up soon)... nicholas (goodness... a CALL from you was a shock... like really... u rmbed! haha! im very happy for that)...

yes... thank you everybody... sorry that was so long-winded... heh!

thank you samuel for having that secret share and msges with marcus over my birthday plans and for sharing that keyboard too... u can play yr funny drum sounds on it too... :D

thank you mum and dad for being absolutely patient, nice and understanding today... thanks for the angpao... and thanks for just loving me... and of cuz being so supportive about marcus and his book in and all...

thank you lita... for that birthday hug... and for cooking my favourite potatoes for me... :D

thank you to may for the perlini's necklace... it's really very pretty... ill wear it soon... thanks for rmbring... buying it from msia... and bringing it here to give it to me... i really appreciate it loads...

thank you marcus' parents although u wont be reading this... i shall send my love and thanks in a card... :D

finally and most importantly... thank you my special love... for everything... you know what i mean... there's so much to thank you for... it couldnt have been more special without you... it wasnt like a huge party thingy... neither was it like a cool restaurant meal thingy... but u spent my bday with me so meaningfully and so beautifully... u left me in tears the minute u went back into camp... just slacking arnd... sleeping for 12 hours (finally eh?)... doing just the normal things... it was just perfectly awesome... thanks for organising sat's meet up too... i love you... yes we have had tough times... we have our doubts... but that's for us to work out right? i dunno... i dunno what to say to you... except a simple i love you... and u know what that means...

thank you everybody... and yes... on to adulthood... out of teenhood... there's a lot for me to learn and change from...

an awesome birthday it was

2007-06-22T00:52:00.000+08:00

i went to chinatown today... and these are the few pics...

cute name eh?

that's me and my bro outside the tooth relic temple...

this apparently... is the chinese viagra... or so my aunty says... hmmmm

that's me... i love the door... i think it's so... nice... newly painted red and gold!

this is bro and me... haha! just a random "we were bored waiting" shot

samuel's attempt at photography... funny la he...

and this is the "oh-so-cute" shophouse i saw...

and we came back... and i just ended my mahjong game... of which at first take i got these flowers... amazing eh? haha! 7 flowers when i first opened my "pai's" haha! i was quite amused... yea...

so nth much... today my 5th uncle and family came down... den i brought them to chinatown... yah... but they're leaving for Bangkok tomorrow... so yah... and im back to zapping job at aunty faith's... cant wait to help teach when classes start... i really miss the kids... i wonder if they rmbr me... i hope they do... heh!

so tomorrow i promised aunty faith i will go in to help her again... cuz today i cldnt cuz i had to bring my relatives arnd... yah...

okie... im bored already... i shall go play some lame online game... haha! tata!

2007-06-21T01:41:00.000+08:00

awesome... i was surfing the manchester united webbie... and was looking through the online shop... and look what i found... all of which i wish i owned... they're not that ex really... just that... heh! i dunno manz... like very affordable manz... i wanna get them... haha! especially the jackets... like 30 sing dollars only noe? gosh... i mean... why wont anybody get them???

haiz... maybe this wknd i shld deposit some money into my debit card and go massive online shopping... haha! these few days ill just be busy printing money... but i really love them... haiz...

2007-06-20T00:57:00.000+08:00

u piss me off... seriously...

i dun care if you think it was love or whatsoever ok? it's over and it's over... just leave me alone... and stop bothering me with all that good past memories thingy... hoping that some of it will materialise and crumble me to tears... what i know and what u know is that it was a total lie... it was a complete sick rship... it's smth nobody wld ever want...

it may seem special to you... but no... it isnt. it's sick! to me... and u really are equally disgusting... i hate you... just stay out of my way will you? ive had enough of your rubbish floating everywhere... making it seem like it was all smth so sweet and smth so real... oh pls... if it is den explain why things are the way they are...

snap out of the whole crappy la-la-land ure in... for yr sake... for my sake... for everybody's sake... i dun care if it was your fault... my fault... whoever's fault... the decision's clear now... so just f*** off ok?

seriously... stay out of this... im happy where i am now... and u shld be too... although ure so sick u shldnt even be happy...

2007-06-19T01:27:00.000+08:00

okie... haha! so that's how BASHED UP i look... or rather have spent the wknd looking... obviously with alot more swell... my swell went down alot these few days... i think marcus' mum's light is helping... :D haha! maybe i shld ask her to give me more light so the front wound can heal... it's really painful...

stitch removing was HELL... goodness... if labour pain is going to be any more than 2 times of that amount of pain i will just adopt... haha! as much as i want a whole LEE soccer team... im sorry b... today's pain freaked me out like mad... i had to like hold my hands together to prevent myself from hitting the surgeon's hands away. wah... it was like... she was practically jabbing the scissors and her plucker thingy right into my gum where the wounds were... heal-ING... not heal-ED! oh god... i really almost died... really... it was bad... much worse than the opt itself... darren woo... u told me it wouldnt hurt... it hurt like MAD! i've never felt this kinda pain in my life before manz... like... serious... thank god im alive. haha! i found myself tearing quite alot after i walked out of the dentist's room... with a throbbing headache... u noe the sort that u get right after extreme pressure or stress or cold? yah... gosh... thinking of the pain now still raises my hair.... OUCH!

haha! so to distract myself from the pain... i baked! haha! chocolate chip cake... pretty yummy it was... and i made hot-fudge-chocolate-cake for everybody to eat. haha! these pple are totally enjoying from my pain. haha! it was good... when the cake came out from the oven still hot and nice... i cut portions of it up, fixed them up with ice-cream and hershey's chocolate sauce... yums! haha! it was good... haha!

i tried eating normal rice for dinner... i managed a few mouths... den right after that... when i sat down to watch TV... my whole jaw started to ache... god... that's what u get for not using yr jaw for a week. haha! so im slowly chewing more often... like moving my jaw up and down even though there's nth in there to chew... just so i can exercise my jaw... haha! so i can have my yummy dinners this wknd... haha!

my mum just met up with a fren this morning... who had another friend with a daughter my age... who's still under the triangle thingy like me... and who's had 4 accidents in like 5 months? gosh... and cuz of that her licence got revoked... and no insurance wants to cover her now... and so my mum's friends were like encouraging her not to let me drive under the triangle too much... oh pls... isnt it obvious enough that this girl just CANT drive... i hope mum doesnt stop me from driving... :(

okie... i think i shall just end off here... i'd just like to tell everybody reading this... that u shld treasure yr day like it's ending tomorrow... im not cursing or anything... but really. treasure every moment of yr life... u only live it once through... forgive and forget although u think it's impossible... tell your friends how much u appreciate them... tell yr parents and siblings how much u love them... get involved in family life and show through actions... do things that u really wanna do... follow your heart and do things that would make you happy... because regretting really sucks...

love pple... because everybody can do with a bit more loving from you... :)

2007-06-18T12:53:00.000+08:00

aiks... im gonna remove my stitches later on... and i think im so gonna die. haha! ill probably faint in pain on the dentist chair... haha! im not so afraid of removing stitches if there isnt still that woundish pain arnd. but cuz i still feel so much pain everywhere in my mouth i think removing stitches sure die one. haha! oh god... i hope ill be ok.. i really do hope ill be ok... oh yes! i can only think of one thing good... i can ask for more Ponstan of which i finished already... haha!

yay... thank you to Barce and Real Madrid... 5-1 and 3-1... amazing... barce on the -2.5 and real on the -1.5 has won me some money... :) haha! so it's the end of La Liga too... god... soon there'll almost be no more soccer to follow or watch... ill just rely on the Under-21s... hopefully england portugal and italy wont let me down... england won 2nil and italy 3-1 if im not wrong... and that won me some money too... cuz i think i bought them both on the -1.5s... *fingers crossed* the only reason why im "thinking" is cuz i left them betting slips in B's wallet... haha! and he brought them into camp... haha! and he doesnt wanna confirm with me what we bought cuz he decided to be the meanshit he always is... stupid dumbass (pronouned doom-bass :D )

hmmmm... i found a new beddie i like yesterday... cost about 600 bucks... without the mattress... but daddy doesnt like it... why? cuz it's not solid wood... i understand that compressed wood kinda sucks... but... how to find nice solid wood designs arnd in the market anymore daddy? i hope he really allows me to buy that bed... nice queen sized bed with side tables and drawers connected... and it's those no stands kind? those close to the floor kind? nice manz... haha! marcus was so funny... tryin to convince daddy that it's really nice... haha! he's a funny one that guy...

and yay! saturday we went down to Honda KahMotors to finally get down to BUYING the car! haha! i test drove the car... with everybody inside... Uncle Philip, B's mum, B himself and B's dua-ee who's down in Spore... yea. not bad... the car's a little less sensitive compared to the odessey im driving now... but i guess it takes getting used to... quite funky... choosing the colours... choosing between the 2 models... haha! but yea... we're all so excited about it... haha!

but all through and through... the wknd wasnt so great cuz i look hilarious... i look like im healing from a really horrible fight... in which i got whacked inside out... haha! my face-chin area is totally filled with greenish blue-blacks manz... sucks... haha! but thanks B for being really encouraging and supportive about it... haha! really appreciate it... and wats worse was that i totally cldnt open my mouth... so my speech wasnt very clear and i practically had to avoid conversation with pple. sucks... thanks B for being able to understand wad i was mumbling... made my life so much easier... haha! not many pple can understand me going "i-yim in my womb" (im in my room)

okie den... i gotta go wash up and eat my porridge (again!!!!) and den get ready for stitches removing... sucks... wish me luck manz... balloon-ing outta here... :)

2007-06-15T11:59:00.000+08:00

aiya... i dunno why that stupid car decal guy aint getting back to me yet... so frustrating... haha! and i hope my CDs get shipped from Philippines properly... arrive here in good state and soon... pls make it soon... haha!

my front tooth surgery is hurting manz... it's hurting... thank god for Ponstan... i dunno why it's hurting but it is... and the freaking swell aint going down... haha! i hope it goes down SOON... haha!

aiks... i need my Friends Season 4... and i totally love the bracelet jamie made for me... it's so pretty... cant wait to wear it... yay!

haiz... life is so boring at home... i shall read the whole series of unfortunate events... maybe ill feel that my life is much better after that... haha! alright... it's not gonna be that bad... cuz marcus might be having a longer wknd... so hopefully he comes out today...

jamie just told me a funny yet dangerous story... haha! it involves lucas and taka carpark... :) haha! lucas ah lucas... u are so funny manz... be careful will you? haha!

ok den... off to reading and eating Ponstan... :P

2007-06-14T13:45:00.000+08:00

yay! i finally managed to find the Philippine Madrigal Singers CDs online... and i bought 3 of their albums... cant wait for them to be shipped over... they're really so damn good... heh! hmmm...

and i just emailed the person from Football Weekly about the Man U car decals... yay! haha! hopefully he gets back to me... hope they're as nice as they look on the advert... :)

oh wells... my swell hasnt gone down... but i manged to eat some porridge just now... haha! like a baby though... cuz my lips are a little swollen so i got porridge all over my lips... cant lick them off like a normal person would.... haiz... get me out of this shit someone...

im so touched my marcus' parents really... they're actually getting a new car so that i can drive it too... amazing eh? it's like the whole family only Uncle Phillip can drive... the mum hasnt converted her licence and marcus cant drive yet for nuts... but they actually gonna get a new car so that i can drive marcus to and fro camp... and so we can use the car when we roam the streets in the middle of the night... arent they so damn nice...

and they're really supportive of me... like... i can so confide in them... we share jokes like nobody's business... i just sent marcus' mum an mms of me looking like shrek and she called me back saying i look so cute... haha! she wants to come over and give me light... which is really sweet of her... i mean... i really love them alot... i really dunno where i can ever find such nice in-laws...

okie... im gonna gather some neighbours to play mahjong with me... im so damn bored manz... haha! tata... :P

2007-06-14T01:07:00.000+08:00

aiks aiks aiks... ive been so bored... cuz of my stupid mouth thingy... and this horrible balloon looking like suelynn... ive been stuck at home and i cant go out. i cant even go out to buy the necessities... like Friends Season 4, my football weekly, my soccer updates, my soccer bets, Father's Day stuff, b's singlets... argh... and i also need to go down to peninsula plaza... and i need to go down to that loyang place to buy back my football weekly issues to complete my collection... i wish i had a secretary... or i wldnt mind paying somebody to do these runnings fer me...

but at least i got to eat smth today... ate some really soft and soggy noodles... that had to eaten cold... haha! yea... kinda sucked... but after a few mouths i gave up cuz it's just too tiring and frustrating to eat at a rate that's... really pathetic... gosh! heh... :)

managed to call up the Cambridge Language Centre to find out about Cantonese and Italian classes too... although i was kinda mumbling my way through... figured i shld take up Latin and Spanish too... so i can share my knowledge with b and teach him some... or even just be his interpreter for him... since u know... choral music has got so much latin spanish and italian.. i figured not only does it help me... it helps him too... haha!

haiz... renovation's finally about over... house looks pretty cool now i must say... left the painting to do... furniture... decoration... new TV... etc... and all these can only be done in small amounts over a period of time... and i really wonder when it will all end... it's these kinda stuff that drags things on u see...

im dying to get out of the house... and im dying to sing... ive missed chorale for 2 freakin weeks! u noe how sick that is? argh... and looks like this week ill hafta miss it too cuz of my stupid swollen gums and face... sucks la... really sucks... i hate it... wad shld i do? i need to practise manz... and i really miss chorale... the pple and all...

let's hope my braces does the better for me... im sacrificing too much just for that... and it's not even for cosmetic purposes... if it was just putting on braces for the fun of it... den ill pull out definitely... but nope... i had to do it cuz of that stupid permanent adult tooth that decided to stay put in my lower gum... u suck... now ive got thread all over my mouth... in btwn almost all my teeth... it's disgusting... i really wonder how they're gonna remove the stitches this monday manz... like... unwind them and tug them out from btwn my teeth? ouch... oh god... somebody save me...

i need to go out and buy stuff to keep me occupied these few days... oh wells... maybe i shld just play mahjong and puzzle fighter at home... :(

2007-06-13T02:04:00.000+08:00

yeps... this is how ugly i look now... haha! terrible aint it... swollen puffed up cheeks... and it's really sore... argh... they gave me a packet which contained all my extracted teeth... i have half a mind to paste the picture up here too... but i guess... nah... maybe when ive really cleaned them out and dried them ya? haha!

haiz... amazing how u realise who the impt pple are in your life when you're in a state of... pain... heh! i woke up and cried... cuz there was nobody arnd to accompany me and i was hurting like fuck...

i just want u to know that u were the person i was thinkin of all the time... and im sure i wld have felt better if u were by me side... just to hold me hand... just to be there... and i cried when i thought of you... cuz i think i miss you alot...

2007-06-12T22:57:00.000+08:00

im in eff-ing alot of pain... really it sucks... argh... even Ponstan and 2 local anaestaetic jabs cant ease the freakin pain. what a stupid experience... the whole poking that needle through the other side of my palm... i almost died on that... the nasal spray for the tubes to go through my nose... even worse... and till now im bleeding through my nose...

having 6 wounds in your mouth is no joke manz... i can feel all the surgical thread all over my mouth... and they actually secure the thread onto my teeth... so i run my tongue over my teeth i can feel them all over... sucks...

and the soreness and pain in my mouth really hurts... like hurt until i tear so much...

havent eaten anythin since last night... damn hungry... really nvr eat anythin... basically cuz i cant open my mouth... and it's just too sore for me to wanna try and eat anything... i look damn farnee... damn swollen my whole face... haiz...

given a choice to do this again... i swear i wldnt... even if u paid me 1million... i wldnt do it again...

2007-06-12T01:04:00.000+08:00

argh... this sucks... having to fast by 12am... just cuz i have a surgery tomorrow... cant even drink water... and like... im dying of thirst now. and im hungry... and i probably wont get to eat any yummy food for the next few days... and say bye bye to the crispy crunchy yummies in my life... :(

depressing...

and im freaking out... i dun feel like appearing at NDC tomorrow... im really scared... of what i dunno. 6 teeth out at once... goodness... imagine the after pain... i think i might just die. okie... im not that worried bout the 5 extractions... but im worried for the surgically-removed adult tooth stuck in my lower gum/chin area... there's gonna be stitches... and i hate having that kinda thing... it sucks... and oh yes... it isnt gonna get better what with more pain to come...

and so i spent the last half hour taking photos of my little behind teeth... im so gonna miss it... it's been with me for like years manz... and my tongue always plays with it... now it's gonna be gone... haiz...

okie... what a crappy teethy post... i shall go watch my last CD of friends season 3... and prepare myself to sleep... after all i have gotta wake at 730 tomorrow for my surgery...

im so freakin scared... what's worse is that marcus aint gonna be able to be arnd with me... sucks...

somebody help me... it's too late to back out... :P

2007-06-11T17:33:00.000+08:00

im quite scared for my surgery tomorrow... argh... i hope it all goes well... and i hope that it wont be too pain after that... actually the thing im most afraid of is the GA part... i kinda hate the GA part... hate the idea of going to a horrible deep sleep where apparently nothing ever can wake u up... haha!

well... i believe i shall go on a diet after that... after all a liquid diet is what i have to go on after the stupid surgery... so maybe it's the best time to lose weight... the only good thing i can even think of... haha!

hmmm... im actually quite sad that Jamie's leaving... it's quite horrible... but i guess it'll be fun for her... and maybe i can go visit her sometime... but still it sucks... nobody to go shopping with me... or share my love of soft toys (Odi and Spot)... manz... i dun even wanna think about what she's taking away with her... i actually wish we din have any misunderstandings at all back then... cuz it kinda took away alot of time for the frenship... argh... im so emo now. haha!

im bored... but i shall go and eat all the hard things i can tonight before i start on my liquid diet... haha!

2007-06-09T01:08:00.000+08:00

i had a GREAT time with my buddies yesterday... really great time... yea... met them for dinner... actually to celebrate Pringles' bday... which was on Wednesday... so... Happy Belated Birthday!!! heh... i hope u had fun... okie... basically all we did was eat and eat and eat... and talk and talk and talk... haha! and here are a few photos i took...

lucas and jamie... looking quite funny... heh!

hello adrian... u look farnee too! :P

errr... lucas... why do u always do this? haha!

thanks gab for this shot... haha! i dun look nice at all... so some thanks ah!

hello birthday boy... hope u like that pressie... :D

a whole plate of mushrooms... lucas and his only edible veggie...

okie birthday boy... what can i say? u were high for awhile there i believe...

adrian's bottle of stuffed tissues... going at only $0.50 everybody...

hello mr hao... who joined us later...

after a plate of not-so-nice rosti... haha!

moo moo... u noe wad i said about this pic... haha!

ahuh... bday boy gets to do whatever he wants...

adrian... THIS is a good photo... haha!

and lucas and jamie bought me a darling... it's so cute eh? they din want me naming it stupid names... so in the end they decided to name it Spot for me... and i love that name just as well... he's really cute... thank you my dear friends... :)

SPOT

2007-06-07T16:40:00.001+08:00

Sometimes late at night
I lie awake and watch her sleeping
She's lost in peaceful dreams
So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark
And the thought crosses my mind
If I never wake up in the morning
Would she ever doubt the way I feel
About her in my heart

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face the world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

'Cause I've lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never were revealed
So I made a promise to myself
To say each day how much she means to me
And avoid that circumstance
Where there's no second chance to tell her how I feel

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face the world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

So tell that someone that you love
Just what you're thinking of
If tomorrow never comes

i was just digging up some old songs to listen to... and then i heard this song... i dunno why but i actually started crying. i mean... if u really think about it... really... what if tomorrow never comes? how many things will we end up regretting? how many people will rmbr us? what will pple rmbr us for? for the fact that we touched their lives? or for the fact that we ruined their lives? sometimes we're just too afraid to show our feelings... we're afraid of the consequences of showing our feelings... especially to pple we love... but have we thought about it? what if tomorrow never comes?

we only get to live our lives and each moment once... live them to the fullest and make the best of everything...

2007-06-07T12:48:00.001+08:00

2007-06-04T13:03:00.000+08:00

and yes... there was my camping trip... haha! i went for a camping trip on the Vesak Day night itself... cuz marcus din have to go back to camp that night... was a long wknd... it was fun... very fun... had a BBQ and macs and maggi mee for dinner...

and there was alot of swimming too... haha! at SIA sports club...

and alot of supper stuff at FENGSHAN and BERNIE'S... haha! yea...

2007-06-04T11:38:00.000+08:00

wow manz... as Jamie appropriately mentioned... ive been missing in action for quite a very long while... almost a week... bad bad... im sorry everybody... :P

well... it's been quite a very busy week for me... ive been busy handling the stupid construction at my house... and of all things the stupid electricians digging my garden to lay the wiring for my garden lights had to go and burst 2 pipes! goodness... and that resulted in water rationing and all for my whole family... sucks... cldnt pee, cldnt shit, cldnt bathe... it was horrendous... seriously horrendous... and that's why i din go for chorale last minute on saturday... argh... stupid... of all reasons right? i hated that day...

but before that... on that Vesak Day... i met up with the juniors for Pirates 3... it was quite fun... but as usual i was damn left out... hearing all that army talk... but still cool to meet up with all of them... yea...

2007-05-28T00:13:00.000+08:00

i had a gambling session last night with boys... literally boys... haha! my neighbours who came over to play with my bro... and insisted i be the "zhong" for their blackjack game... so there... i was the "zhong" and the "money" we used was guess wad? ahuh... country erasers... :D

well... dat was last night... to replace the boring night without any soccer matches to watch... :( so yea... it was pretty fun... :D

this morning had to bring my bro and Derek (neighbour boy) to church too... den to lunch... so i was babysitting... sianz... they wanted to eat long john's... so yah...

hmmm... den afternoon went down to Ben's place... suppose to go down to see filming and give him moral support kinda thing? but in the end... he din act... so they were just using his place... so the useless 2 of us just hung arnd... watched Friends for like 2 hours? used his com... took fotos of the filming pple... ate cup noodles... yah... basically slacked the whole afternoon away doing nothing... ahaha! yeps... pretty fun la... his house air con... so lying on the bean bag watchin friends in the air con living room in comfort was shiok-ness! haha! yea... and ben... being dumb... ate noodles that were meant for soup the dry way... amazing? yes... that's ben my buddy for you... :D i dun have fotos... cuz his stupid com and internet is so lousy... i cldnt load them up to anywhere or send them anywhere... the "could not publish page" thingy kept coming up... i gave up... haha!

den after that... we decided to head down to City Hall for dinner... initial plan was HMV to buy my friends... eat dinner... den hang at esplanade library while he returns his books and DVDs... but we met gabriel moo on the train there and we decided to join him and other pple for Hwa Chong concert at esplanade instead... so i was pretty dressed down for the concert... :P haha! oh wells... yea... but i managed to get my friends season 3... so yay! haha! the concert was... okie... entertaining i guess... brought back alot of memories for me... so much so i actually thought of gettin those who are interested in my batch to do a recording of all the songs we sung before... cuz they sang hua xin Hana and For The Beauty Of The Earth today... so really brought back alot alot of memories... yeps! hmmm... after concert was supper time with chorale pple and my batch pple. yea... oh and miss lim sang a solo... which i enjoyed... miss her so damn much... haiz... :S

so that's about all i did today... quite a fun filled day i must say... haha! and interesting things happened... like meeting ben's admirer whom i took the liberty to name "darling"... haha! yea... meeting the "cute" actor... heard some big shot's son mcee and say the word "trumphiant" can u believe it? goodness.... wad a joke it was... and den it was me going "tar-mach" instead of either "tummy" or "stomach"... haha! it was one of those sue lynn moments... when my mind processes one word and out comes another word... it's been happening to me so often... just yesterday pple arnd were talkin about me being lactose-unfriendly... and den the asked me about ice-cream and i said... "yes i eat ice-cream... but the white one i dun... the white type of ice cream...?" and everybody was like "huh????" and i realised i actually processed the word ice cream as chocolate in my head... goodness... i dunno what's wrong with me... haha! i think it's some brain and mouth linkage malfuntion... :P

oh wells... i had a long day... off to bed now... i almost fell asleep while watchin friends at ben's place today... it was so funny yet i could feel my eyes closing... that's how tired i am... :D

2007-05-27T00:55:00.000+08:00

today was rather fun... went out for the "first" time... in millions of days... haha!

morning went down to somerset for lesson... haiz... i have big problems with my pronouns... keep stressing them... gotta start practising on them... and i have lots of stuff to do manz... work that ive been pushing aside with reasons of school... but now holidays i gotta do them manz... have another speech to write up... and a 4000 word thesis project to do... on any aspect of oral communication... maybe ill do body language... that's interesting enough i guess? haiz... i must must must get down to doing them this holidays... or else once school starts i confirm no time one... so irritating... argh....

after that i went to popular to buy baby dumbo toy... but i cldnt find it anymore... so im pretty upset about it... :( haiz... but nvm i guess... i made myself happy by buying other stationery... haha! typical me... hmmm...

oh yah! smth damn weird happened to me... some super weird guy came up to me and actually touched my belt buckle area askin me where i punch my belt holes... i was like??? goodness... the story's too absurd to actually say in words... but basically... it was weird and uncomf... haha!

after that i came home... rushed with some chores and drivin arnd everywhere like a mad taxi driver to run errands... buy lunch for my family... buy tea snacks for the construction workers... send my bro here and there... haha! dat made me late for my lunch with gabriel, lucas and jamie...

and lunch was yong tau foo... haha! yummy... i dunno why i had that craving last night... so i suggested going there and yea... everybody seemed fine... haha! so after lunch went down for chorale... and i really dun like the new song... it sucks... it's worse than In Song... argh... so sianz.. and the english is so... pok... what does "voices twin" mean??? goodness... haha! but i shant complain so much... i wldnt have been able to do a better job... :P

after chorale we went to Bernie's at Changi there to eat dinner... it was pretty fun... hung out with the older pple... yea... and den nice darling Joyce sent me all the way home... so nice right? i was so touched... haha! i shall sms her to thank her once i get her number... heh!

and so... that's my day so far... singing always makes me a happy girl la... yah...

love's it... :D

2007-05-25T15:11:00.000+08:00

i really really need my Friends Season 3 VCDs... and i want my dumbo baby soft toy from Orchard... haiz... i need to get out of the house... but i cant... :(

2007-05-23T18:34:00.000+08:00

my house is in a complete mess... argh... i just finished cleaning up the whole place... swept and mopped the whole house... and shifted everything from my room to the other room... so they can work on my room tomorrow... im sweating like a pig manz... so tiring... rah!

anyway... it's funny how spore pools can come up with funny specials like "how many goals will kaka score at full time"... "will steven gerard score?"... "what will the half time score be?"... funny eh? but pretty cool la... hopefully liverpool wins it all at the end... i really wish they be awarded for their hard work this season... and i be rewarded for having faith in them... haha!

anyway... i was sitting on the swing 2 nights ago... when suddenly smth fell and hit the floor right beside my leg... i thought it was a snail from the ceiling or smth at first... but when i moved in closer to look at it... it flew away... and i realised it was a little baby sparrow... so cute... and so adorable... okie... and cuz of that... i decided to buy the number 5529... haha... for "fly fly to-night" haha! okie... i noe it's lame but it's the first number that came to my mind... :)

and last night... there was a small baby froggie hoppin arnd in my house... and after we brought it outside the house and locked up the place... it still managed to find it's way in... since the whole house was already locked up and the alarm was on... i took the food cover and covered it... haha! this morning i found it asleep and the food cover moved from one end of the kitchen to the other... i guess it was trying to escape... haha!

my encounters with baby animals have been rather weird recently... hahah! and my driving has improved... finally... after driving everywhere everyday... out to buy lunch... out to pick brother... out to send bro for tuition... pick him from tuition... my driving and parking has improved manz... which is a gd thing...

last saturday i drove all the way to sembawang to pick marcus up from camp... alone... and the Phantom OST was blasting thru the stereo... fun manz... i love driving... along the whole TPE and SLE... singing along to Phantom songs... alone so can sing as loud and as lousily as i can... haha!

okie... this post was rather crappy but oh wells... im feeling crappy anyway... so full of rubbish and so full of arghies...

2007-05-22T13:39:00.000+08:00

this is for my da jie... an update on the situation of the contruction work at home... :)

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