FOUND TRUE LOVE

Friday, March 31, 2006

well... had a long day. im tired at least... yea... the K2 class was quite draining... manz... *yawnz*

hmmm... read this at aunty faith... thought it was quite interesting... its like u noe... when u scramble the letters up u get smth else? irony... haha! check it out...

dormitory - dirty room
presbyterian - best in prayer
astronomer - moon starer
desperation - a rope ends it
the eyes - they see
george bush - he bugs gore
the morse code - here come dots
slot machines - cash lost in me
animosity - is no amity
election results - lies, let's recount
snooze alarms - alas! no more Z's
a decimal point - im a dot in place
the earthquakes - that queer shake
eleven plus two - twelve plus one
president clinton of the USA - to copulate he finds interns

interesting eh? hahaha! got it from some email thing i guess... heh!

yeps... anyway, i wanna revamp my whole room. ya... when i have the time and when i have the money, im gonna revamp my whole room... go to IKEA and get new storage n funky stuff to deco my room up... so cool manz!!! cant wait... i even got new hangers to hang all my clothes... its like all the same hangers... its funky la! haha!

and i realised i have alot of things i wanna buy... let me go update my shoppin list later... yay! so exciting...

somehow today im in a happier mood... seeing u makes me happy!

always monsteroo 00:16

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Wednesday, March 29, 2006

my hope for a better day...
washed down the drain

why do u hafta come n spoil my day... why do u choose to come and spoil a day in which i already feel vulnerable and weak in?

and why do u refuse to be there for me? why do u not want to talk to me? why???

i hate the world...

i reali hate the world and everybody in it...

fuck off everybody...

dun pretend to love me and care for me when u guys do not...

abandon me in my darkest days... u say u care?

ha!

YAH RIGHT!

always monsteroo 22:20

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rise and shine, a new day has begun

as the sunshine streams through my window
beating its morning rays down soft and tender
i cant help but sit and ponder
will today bear more hope, will today sing a sweeter song?

each day i awake with a brand new heart
each day i hope for greater things
but a helium balloon will either fly away
or it will shrink within hours
unless i tie it tight arnd my arm

but shld i tie Helium tight arnd my arm
he will not have freedom
he will feel imprisoned

these are times im torn between selfishness and selflessness
these are times i feel alone

i know that it is excited to journey the sky
i know that it is excited to fly all the way to Europe
but wont it treasure the time it has when i hold its string in my hands
wont it realise that the minute it flies into the sky
it has all the time to bond and spend time
but not with me?

rise and shine, a new day has begun

i wish my day to be fine...

always monsteroo 11:25

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how many times do i hafta cry to myself?

always monsteroo 00:25

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Tuesday, March 28, 2006

well... i think im having some night syndrome... i alwiz start to feel useless in the nite... when i have nothin to keep my mind occupied... ya. im feelin lousy again...

actually i think its cuz i din spend the day properly... this alwiz happens when i dun spend the day properly...

well... woke up at like one??? ya... after that went out... went to eat Katong laksa n nasi lemak... den went to play pool... yea. im reali tryin to like pool... feel like i havent done smth i like since a very long time... actually ask me wad that is and i wldnt be able to answer you... i just dun rmbr enjoying a day recently... that's bad... haiz... anyway, after playin pool for close to 2 hrs, den went back home... and slept. just slept... after sleepin din reali enjoy myself either... wake up, eat... den ya...

basically i havent enjoyed a day in ages...

sianz...

always monsteroo 23:16

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Monday, March 27, 2006

i just keep crying and crying...

i feel so lousy and so useless...

like i have no useful purpose in life... im such a useless human being...

all i do is irritate pple n cling onto pple... give u problems n be yr burden as u alwiz say...

wats worse is u entire day just MIA... i told u i felt like crying... but u din even care... nobody cares... yet im not allowed to talk to anybody about anythin... im not allowed to turn to any of my frens... yet u dowan to listen to me...

i reali feel very depressed...

i just want to dig a hole and disappear from this surface of the Earth...

i want somebody to talk to...

im all alone...

i dowan to feel alone...

always monsteroo 22:50

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im reali quite depressed...

feel very lousy, childish and dumb...

i cldnt even handle my classes properly today...

am i reali dat dumb and lousy???

i reali feel stupid n immature...

always monsteroo 22:05

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i wanna eat macs breakfast...

i wanna eat my harshbrown...

i wanna eat my sausage egg mcmuffin without cheese...

i wanna drink my ice milo...

i want my macdonalds breakfast!!!

always monsteroo 21:33

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tiring day

very tiring day

TIRED cuz i had relief teaching at red swastika today... the classes were reali notti... i reali felt like crying and giving up halfway... dat was how bad it was... i reali almost cried halfway during lesson... went back to the staff room, wanted to talk to somebody about it... but the environment i was in was so aloof... is the society reali liddat? who den can i rely on to talk to and all??? haiz...

TIRED cuz i have been waiting for your contact...

nvm... who cares la right?

always monsteroo 19:45

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INSPIRATION FROM SAMUEL LEE

A duck walks into a store...
"Do u have any gwapes?"
"No"
"Do u have any gwapes?"
"No!"
"Do u have any gwapes?"
"NO!!! Ask that one more time and ill nail your beak together!"
"Do u have any nailsss?"
"NO!!!"
"Do u have any gwapes?"

always monsteroo 00:26

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i just realised that cuz i usually blog past midnite, the dates and days are alwiz wrong... muahaha! oh wells... who cares?

hmmm... today i woke up feeling quite zombie-ish... but i had to go to church. yea... well, smth quite weird happened in church today... i was praying and reflecting n thinkin... when i suddenly realised that im actually quite dumb and childish. haiz... bad feeling... bad realisation...

after that i had a reali refreshing nap... haha! woke up feelin very energised and revitalised. yea... after that went to parkway, played pool, walked about... went to cold storage to buy snacks... den went home for dinner... yummy dinner... *grins*

after dinner, helped to wash up... den watched abit of TV... den ya lorz...

anyway, man u is playin birmingham now... watched the first half... dunno if 2nd half started oredi not... wah liao eh... they were playin reali quite well la... i was impressed. Giggs took a beautiful free kick in like the 3rd minute... haha! den after that he scored another beautiful goal... it was a very team goal... alot of teamwork... their passes were so creative n so teamish... and Giggs with the help of the other attackers scored a very beautiful goal... so they're winning by 2 goals now... hope Giggs does a hat trick. haha!

but im pretty embarrassed... cuz even after being a man u supporter for so long, i just realised today that Giggs is a left-footer manz. hmmms... haha! sheesh...

haiz... dunno wad to do tomolo manz... maybe ill just slack arnd at home... unless i have a relief teachin call tomolo morning... but ya... i reali miss teachin n marking... esp at aunty faith... i reali like workin there... manz... hope even after i enter uni i can still teach there so often...

haiz...

am i reali very childish?

always monsteroo 00:07

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Sunday, March 26, 2006

my day was cool... i bought a reali cool nice top from "mu"... so happy with it. in the end it was 50% discount... although i was willin to pay like the original price for it. yeps... oredi plan when n wad im gonna wear it with... its my INTERESTING top (as u say it *grins*)... i reali love it. thanks for encouraging me to buy it. so happy...

hmmms... let's start from yesterday. yesterday was a mad day la ok... haiz... it was a very emotional tryin day. i almost died... whatever it is... there were so many problems that led to many other problems that got me into final SHIT... haiz... in the end, i slept at like 4? actually i din reali sleep... cuz i was supposed to wake someone up at 7... so i was like... half slumber situation... work was supposed to start at like 11 today... so yah.. i was thinking maybe if i can sleep after alarmin the person, i can sleep for like about 3 and 1/2 hrs... but noe wad? i went to sleep and next thing i noe... aunty faith called me up cuz she reali needed help cuz 2 of her helpers sort of pang sei-ed her... so tadah... i rushed down. yeps... haha!

taught until 2.30... tiring manz... i was so super hungry and tired... had to mark alot of work and i took the K2 reading class... it was so... shiong. kept repeating my "if u can join A to E with a smile (eg gAtE and rApE), A takes its own name and E is silent"... haha! but it was reali inspiring... little Ryan was my star kid of the day.. taught IR and UR words also... Ryan was reali co-operative with me... cute darling boy... he's so naughty until i've fallen in love with him. hahaha! yeps..

after Aunty Faith i went down to siglap... to see choir... i wanted to hear them sing... but i din noe they were having nominations... so in the end i din get to hear them. but adrian n ben were there... yeps... haiz... it was quite a depressing time there.. but oh wells... after that, went Orchard lorz... :D

im reali happy... because we're allowed to go Orchard... if u noe wad it means... and i could be myself while walkin along Orchard... im reali happy about that...

thanks for trying and making the effort...

somebody said smth hurting when i went back for choir today actually... somebody reminded me about smth i din want to be reminded about... it was like a slap to the face... smth about some "girlfren" thing... i was so awkward i wanted to just walk away... ARGHHHHH! anywayssss...

but im glad the day ended well... im so freakin tired now actually... yah... k la... gonna ZzZZZZzzzZZZzzZZ now... maybe play one round of puzzle fighter first... lackin practise oredi... haha! tata everybody... :D

always monsteroo 00:27

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Friday, March 24, 2006

you give me hope...

thank you...

always monsteroo 23:01

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bad day... thought it wld have went well... i was so happy in the mornin until i got to work today... in fact i was so lookin forward to work today... i was so excited to see thad n daniella etc... but halfway during their class, smth lousy happened to me. it wasnt any of their fault... i tried to pick myself up and i kept my smile on for them... i wanted to be happy for them... i tried... i hope it worked....

after that, went down to tampines myself. did some shopping there... not much reali... queued damn long for the sistic la... sheesh... the lady in front of me was like... on the fone... u noe how pple are like when they buy tickets n they arent sure of the tix... they start callin everyone else they're buyin tix for and like... manz... she took 1/2 hr easily to buy 3 tickets??? gosh... i almost strangled her when she turned arnd to walk away... the sistic lady even apologised to me even though i din show i was angry... oh manz... pple who have read this learn...

dun ever think u are the only one in the queue when u buy sistic tix... its ridiculous... so pls just get yr orders right first... ya.

den after sistic i went to popular to do my own shoppin... bought like 25 dollars worth of things. gosh... actually i went there with the intention of buyin only the file to store my impt certs since i was born... haha! yeps... manz... pple... another lesson sia...

keep all yr impt certs properly... u nvr know when u need them... like uni application... gosh...

yah lahz... so yea... came back home.. filed and sorted out all my certs... yeps... den watched TV... and cried... just kept crying...

am still crying....

bitch...

tomolo i gotta work damn early... i reali hope i can wake up... rah... den during the long break i gotta go down VJ to get my CCA record, photocopy my certs n certify them... sianationzzzzz...

but i cant sleep... fuck manz...

u wanna leave

how can i ever stop you...

and for fuck's sake... stop comparing me to some pple.... i HATE pple to compare me to pple... wats worse is who ure comparing me with... FUCK!!! get this in manz... fuck comparing me with fucking pple... i fucking hate it...

DIU!

always monsteroo 01:29

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Thursday, March 23, 2006

wats the bloody use of tryin when u dun even care?
wats the bloody use of being nice when i get treated like dirt instead?
wats the use of caring more when my existence gets ignored?
wats the point of tryin to sound nice n happy when all u noe how to say is im tired i wanna sleep bye.
tell me, wat is the point manz???
wad more u hafta tell me that im upset every nite... HELLO???
i am not upset every nite.
wats the point of tryin when u generalise liddat?
and i think u can show abit more effort and sincerity...
if u reali wanted, u would haf called, or at least waited awhile knowin i wld respond...
if u reali were sincere, u wld haf came down to look for me maybe...
IF... yes... IF...

sheesh...

today was obviously sucky... went to sch in the afternoon at about 1... met sheena to haf lunch there and certify her certs... saw things, pple n scenes i din wanna see...

left sch, rushed down to work with shee... class was quite fun. i missed teachin n markin their red files... so yeps... got back the feelin i missed today. tomolo got thad class and cute k2 class... yay! hmmms... ya... that shld lighten my mood... shld... ya...

fuck... it doesnt... i still feel like bashing somebody up... sucks...

applied to all the unis oredi... finally...

just left with paying NUS fees... oh and certifying my certs and postin them... i gotta go get my CCA record from hoe gim yau... lost it... misplaced it... cant find it... rah. msged him he nvr reply... sianation manz... nvm... friday i shall go back sch and ask him for it. and at the same time certify my certs...

tomolo meetin Jamie for brunch at parkway at 12... gonna get somemore SOV tickets then too... hopefully they have the correct seating... yeps... the seating i want at least... shldnt be a prob la... considering not many pple bought yet.

haiz... wad a way to end my day...

do u even care???

no...

always monsteroo 00:30

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Monday, March 20, 2006

first day at relief teaching... manz... am i not dead beat...

but it was reali damn fun manz... haha! the kids reali were so welcoming and so cute. yeps... went to teach at red swas... they called me up at like 10 was it? so i changed into my best lookin teachin clothes i could find... and rushed down to the school. haha! initially i was quite scared cuz its like... i dunno... haha! yea... but the kids were reali cute... i lived the life of a real form teacher... sat with them for assembly... brought them to their classrooms... attendance... gave out books, marked corrections... haha! during recess they were like bringing me arnd the canteen intro-ing me to all the different food they found nice... my recess buncha kids took my hp no... they were so cute i cldnt resist them... the things they say very cute. and they all gave me their drawings too... so sweet...

oh manz... enough gushing about them... haha! yah... met a fellow relief teacher... from ACS/RJ one... Adriel... cool name. haha! yea... we both were as blur as sotongs manz... but thank god all went well... he had to teach PE and do some canteen duty to stand arnd and make sure nobody was misbehaving... haha! thank god... my job today was simple...

and yes, i do want to be a teacher still... i thought the other teachin experience was the mark of the end of me wantin to be a tchr... but today i gained back the proper essence of teachin kids... there was a disabled gal... n i was so touched at how the innocent hearts reached out to her with no quealms or without askin for anythin in return. they all just gave their hearts out lovingly... so sweet...

kids are the most beautiful things on earth... and the way they go... Miss Lee... or even Teacher... doesnt it just melt yr heart? manz...

yeps... finally bought SOV tickets are the bedok sistic... haha! interesting... reminded of all our buying ticket sessions last yr... still rmbr how me n shee wld go down to parkway and buy gazillion tickets and handle the money issues... haha! memories... haiz...

kk... gonna play puzzle fighter now... till then, tata!

always monsteroo 22:17

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Sunday, March 19, 2006

wow... im quite sleepy manz. heh... but yeps... blog first. haiz... march hols are over... everybody's back to school n im back to work... sianz... this holiday has been rather alrite for me... not very fulfilling but at least i got to bond abit with my bro... and yeps... today was a gd day.

last nite was a horrible nite... this morning was quite horrible too... i dunno why... but stayin home the whole day does things to me... im serious... it makes me go mad at nite... haiz... this is bad... i shld find smth to do tomolo manz... oh wells... but im a very happy gal now... lemme write a list of reasons why... haha!

1. i spent a great fun day out...
2. im given another chance...
3. i bought eager beaver gummy bears...
4. i watched Yours, Mine, Ours... damn nice show... i love the kids... i love kids shows...
5. i had a good rest last nite... a reali good rest. the best rest in like 2 weeks? a sleep with no evil diabolical dreams... a deep slumber... manz... i wish i can have that tonite again. heh!
6. i had my doubts cleared about a certain smth... *grins* or at least its reliable truth... i sure hope it is...

heh... dats enough reaons for now... i reali suddenly cant wait to haf my own child... its prob an after effect of the show... but reali. i wanna haf a child soon... i cant wait to finish uni edu, get married to mr right, and start a family... ill haf as many kids as possible... i love kids... i reali do.

hmmmms... i reali need a new bag... i wanna get a new bag... i reali want to. rah... oh yah. tomolo hafta go get SOV tickets. yeps yeps... so cool manz...

and i wanna say a big THANK YOU to you... reali... dunno wad it'll b like without you manz...

gonna watch dodgeball now...

i hope things will all go fine fr nw. i dun wanna turn mad again... haiz... i reali hope i can b cool n nice... i will try. i must try to be who i was again... i must try to be nice, understanding, patient, forgiving... and eva-loving... haha! sounds so perfect manz... if only i can become liddat... i will try my very best... i will.

always monsteroo 23:35

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Saturday, March 18, 2006

im so sianz... haha! been stuck at home the whole day... was supposed to go down to watch choir with lucas ben they all one... i bathe everything oredi... gonna leave home oredi den ben called me say choir ended oredi... haha! so damn cock manz... yeps... so in the end i changed out of my pretty clothes and started to make agar agar... yea... haha!

now im waiting for my agar agar to dry and yeps... played like 5 rounds of puzzle fighter vesus the com oredi... now im so bored manz... i reali bored... later i got steamboat at my house... dunno why also... i think cuz holiday or smth i dunno manz...

haiz... okok... im quite in love with my new blog... it reali gives me new hope...

u give me new hope...

always monsteroo 15:56

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hey hey... well, just created this new blog... yeps... time to start anew in life... i shall leave that other blog alone from now on... wont delete it... but yeps... starting with a new one... :D

went shoppin today at tampines and bugis... ya. shoppin like window shoppin and hanging... but i din buy anythin... haha! yeps... watched V for Vendetta... wah seh. good shit show manz... its reali a damn good show. straight away i told myself that lucas will like it manz. its reali good... haha! its so arty farty and so... deep. its so... intellectual... i like it! yeps... everybody go watch it manz... its a gd show. haha!

haiyo... i dunno wad to do tomolo le... so boring...

oh and yes... i think my blog address is soooo.... reeetaaarrdeeert! haha! but its quite cute la... haha!

always monsteroo 00:27

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