FOUND TRUE LOVE

Sunday, September 23, 2007

i hate things the way they are...

i really dun like change... i dun like changing what i feel is comfortable for me...

and it's bad that you guys are not giving me the support that i think u shld be? i think u guys need to be more understanding for me... instead im so stressed out everyday making sure i do things that make u guys happy... and it always ends up with me being the one on the losing end... i always have to sacrifice my personal happiness just so u guys will be happy... what's the deal? where's the support?

why does this have to be so hard? why can't an easier compromise be made...

am i just too tired to bring things along? shld i just let off the load and deal with the consequences albeit a different set...

oh manz... this sucks... i really hate the way things are going... can someone just help me...

im so eff-ing stressed...

on a separate note, i feel much more vitalised and more spurred on about chorale after AGM today... think having "camps" might actually work out for the bonding thing... i dunno... i just wish i were abit more bonded to pple...

i dunno... i dun really like things the way they are now... im tired... im so tired...

yes, it's tiring for you... but dun u realise it's tiring for me too? and it involves alot more effort on my side? dun u realise it involves a lot more feelings and emotions for me? no... no... no...

it's my effing responsibility and dats full of crap shit...

i hate this... i really do... i wish someone can just find me a perfect solution...

always monsteroo 02:27

----- final whistle, game over -----

Monday, September 10, 2007

well... the school holidays for the pri/sec/JC schools are over... and funny how it seems i was one of them on holidays too...

i guess it's because the wknd was full of fun... what with my special one out the whole time... spending happy pure fun slack time together. and also with my bro out of school and having fun. the neighbours arnd hanging...

i watched Evan Almighty last night... with my bro and the neighbours... and of cuz my b-lee... yeps. we were both the oldest ones there... with the next oldest at say 14? haha! so it was really an outing of baby-sitting the little boys... but the show was good. funny and although unbelieveable... very damn good. i liked it alot... i was literally laughing and smiling the whole show through. good show... everybody should go watch it.

bah... today i went to watch a horrible show though. yes the storyline's good... but no manz... the visual effects and casting was bleagh... yeps... im talking about The Last Legion. i really like the concept though... i like the main character... that little boy who acted in Nanny McPhee too. i like the whole Roman thingy... the whole Legion agst Legion... betrayal and all. but oh manz... the director really made the whole show look very dumb... watch it and ull know what i mean...

so yea... the wknd passed very slowly amidst all that fun... with no chorale... the wknds are really sian. i cant wait for carolling... haha! yes i know it's too damn early to be even thinking about it... but oh wells... i cant wait for xmas. yeps... :)

i finally got myself settled down... finally got myself organised... wrote out the list of things i need to catch up with... school work i mean. and yes... the list is lllloooonnnnnggggg i must say. but it seems possible... ive dedicated each day to one module... and on that day i shall just get into the mood of the module and study it hard... haha! great plan... but im sure im due for procrastination... im the princess of lists, planning and organising... but im also the queen of laziness and procrastination (or else why would i even have that ultra-uber-loooong list right?)

haiz... things are looking good now... occasional hiccups but i believe necessary ones. i mean... what's life without downs? each of us has a cross to carry... and we just have to have faith and carry our crosses with love. that's the christian way of living... i just hope i can continue to have that amount of faith, that amount of strength, that amount of love...

i strive to be full of love and to reach out to the pple around me (especially my loved one B-lee) with sacrifice and patience...

things shld only get better for now...

oh except for the fact that my darling has gone back to camp... im already missing his crap... he really is one full loaded shithead that one... ;)

always monsteroo 01:53

----- final whistle, game over -----